⚢𝐖𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡[gxg](txs)

"I think you've had enough."

ʀᴇɴ-

I spent nearly the whole of my Saturday doing four things. One, my homework as a teacher. Two, responding to business calls. Three, trying to find out who that bike belonged to. Lastly, four, thinking about Merl.

The fourth has been a daily activity since I met Merl and I am yet to lose a streak. I hate her, I think. If I'm being honest, I hate the way that she's complicating things. At first I thought that she was a jewel that I could take for myself and relish in and then cast away like everyone else. The thing is, everyone else had been normal. Everyone else sparked a feeling of fulfillment and momentary exitement in my life. For fucks sake! I had fallen in love with people from mundane to as interesting as it comes. Never, and I mean, NEVER, had I ever met someone like her. She's so 'like me'. We are similar in ways that I cannot- wait.

That's when everything suddenly clicking in my brain. I think back to the incident with Blueberry, her blood soaked clothes and perfectly unscaved body. I think back to the history lessons where she had humiliated me by sharing her vast knowledge of history. The company she ownes that's been competing with mine for years. Her wealth. The way she made Blueberry a splint. The dreams that I cannot remember. Fuck...
Is Merl immortal?
It doesn't make sense in the least but it also makes absolute sense. Was that her that ran away from the crash?
I think back to yesterday when I saw her and Penny zoom away from school. She wasn't wearing a helmet. She doesn't care about her health.
I put down my now cold cup of coffee and stand up from what was supposed to be a five minute break from paperwork. This changes everything. If Merl really is immortal like me, is it just us, is there others too? What does this mean? What do I do? Do I tell her: "Hey, Merl, I was just wondering if you were immortal because I am."

It sounded better in my head. Great, now I'm talking to myself. For immortal people, that's never a good sign.
I need fresh air.

I grab my keys and a jacket and then I head out. Perhaps a walk to the park will ease my mind. Perhaps I will realise that I'm overthinking and Merl really isn't immortal. Maybe I've just been so lonely that the first real interesting person that pops up in a while makes me hope. I'd hate for anyone to share the curse of iternal life, but a bitter part of me wants people to experience the horrid reality of what every human have dreamed of. Then again, the child in me doesn't want to be alone. Immortality is like walking around in a dark house without sight. Every clatter, sound, shadow or object can scare you, but you still know it can't harm you.
After a while the things become familiar and the darkness is less scary. Your eyes adapt to the dark and you start playing with the toys scattered around the different rooms. I don't like exploring new parts. I have found stability and acceptance in my current reality. I have learned how to enjoy immortality in a way that doesn't bore me to imposible death. I have lighted candles in the parts of my life that I enjoy exploring. The way to keep a sane head while being immortal is to set oneself boundries and goals. Merl however, is just a different form of darkness in my house all together. A brand new room, scary and unexplored. But, for some reason my inner child just doesn't want to stay put.

I sigh slightly as the sound of distant music breaks my train of thought. I have entered a new neighborhood. I specifically took care in avoiding the direction I assume Merl lives in. It seems I can't have peace either way. Someoene is throwing a huge house party.

If I can just get past it, perhaps the park will be quieter.
Soon I pass the house. It is quite big and there are multiple people dancing around on the front lawn and the patio. They look like teenagers and I recognise a few from school. They are either drunk, high, or both. I roll my eyes, I would never go to a party like this. Such things are just beyond immortal people. Therefore I highly doubt that Merl would be here if she's immortal. The more I scan the crowd and don't see her the more I start thinking that she is immortal, especially since I see her friends all around the pool.
Would I be relieved if she was immortal, or if she wasn't? Do I want her to be immortal? Do I still hate her if she is? I dont know. I DONT FUCKING KNOW!