Love me like this (Supernatural Re-up)

Chapter 26: Dirty Lewd Thoughts

Cassian lays in his bed, alone in his room, indulging in thoughts he had kept hidden from everyone else. Ever since he first laid eyes on Leo, his mind had been consumed by him. At first, it was the resemblance—Leo looked so much like the love he’d lost thousands of years ago, the one who had been ripped away from him. But over time, it wasn’t just the resemblance that drew him in. It was Leo himself, his energy, his presence. Cassian found himself unable to resist the allure.

Sitting in his dimly lit room, Cassian stared at the photos he had taken of Leo—pictures captured secretly, in moments when Leo was unaware of his presence. The images filled the walls, each one showcasing Leo in different angles, some alone, some with Xander. But Xander’s face in every photo had been crossed out, some with a violent red ‘X,’ others with a knife stabbed through the paper.

Tonight was no different. Cassian’s obsession was spiraling, and he let it consume him. His fingers traced the edges of a photo where Leo’s soft features seemed to glow under the sunlight. Cassian closed his eyes, imagining what it would be like to have Leo all to himself, no Xander, no interruptions—just Leo, completely his.

The fantasies grew darker as his mind wandered further. He could imagine Leo in his arms, feel the warmth of his skin, the soft curve of his lips. Cassian’s breath quickened as he gave in to the desire that had been building inside him for weeks. In the silence of his room, he let himself fall deeper into his fantasies, losing control, allowing the twisted images in his mind to take over.

But as the night deepened, so did Cassian’s guilt. Despite the lustful thoughts, a part of him was still haunted by the past—by the love he had lost all those years ago. Every time he indulged in his desires for Leo, he was reminded of Venus, the one he had fallen for centuries ago. The one who had died in battle, leaving him broken. Cassian clenched his fists, trying to banish the painful memories, but they clung to him like shadows.

He stood up abruptly, pacing the room, his mind in turmoil. *Why does it always come back to this?* he thought. *Leo isn’t Venus, and I can’t let this go on.*

But he couldn’t stop. No matter how hard he tried, his obsession only grew, and every time he saw Leo, the craving to possess him became stronger.

A sudden knock at the door startled Cassian out of his thoughts. He quickly shoved the photos into a drawer and wiped the sweat from his brow. Whoever it was, they couldn’t know what he was doing, what he was thinking. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down before opening the door slightly.

It was one of the other students, passing along a message from the school, but as Cassian closed the door again, his mind drifted back to Leo. The intensity of his obsession frightened him, but it also exhilarated him. He knew he was playing a dangerous game, but for Cassian, the risk was worth it. He would do anything to have Leo. Anything.

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As the night wore on, Cassian found himself unable to sleep. His mind was still filled with images of Leo, and the fantasies wouldn’t stop. He had tried to distract himself, but nothing worked. Eventually, he gave in to the urge once more, letting his thoughts drift back to Leo, to the way his lips would feel, to the way his body would fit perfectly against his own.

Cassian knew this was wrong—he knew he had to stop. But for now, he allowed himself this one indulgence, knowing that tomorrow, he would see Leo again, and the cycle would start all over.
Cassian sat on the edge of his bed, breathing heavily as his eyes lingered on the hidden photos of Leo. The weight of his obsession pressed down on him, but tonight, it felt more intense than ever. The fantasies had been growing stronger, harder to resist, and now they consumed his every thought. His hand reached into the drawer where he had hastily stashed the pictures, pulling one out—the one where Leo was laughing with a carefree smile. Cassian’s fingers trembled as they traced the outline of Leo’s face.

His breath quickened as he felt a familiar warmth spreading through his body. The guilt lingered in the back of his mind, but it was drowned out by the overwhelming desire that surged through him. He unzipped his pants, his hand slipping down as his thoughts focused solely on Leo—on how he looked, on the soft innocence of his face, and the imagined feeling of his body beneath Cassian's touch.

Cassian’s mind raced, filling in the gaps of his fantasy, his body reacting as he imagined having Leo right there with him. His hand moved faster as he let the lust take over. He saw Leo, vulnerable, unaware of Cassian's dark desires. The fantasy deepened, and Cassian couldn’t stop the vivid images of Leo being completely his—helpless, willing, and completely under his control.

The pleasure built up inside him, the intensity of his obsession driving him to the edge. He pictured Leo’s lips, soft and inviting, and the way his body would feel against him. Cassian’s breath hitched as the fantasy reached its peak. His grip tightened, movements becoming erratic as he gave in to the twisted scenario in his mind.

In that moment, his control snapped. His release came with a harsh breath, the dark satisfaction filling him for a brief moment before the familiar wave of shame hit. His chest heaved as he wiped himself off, his eyes still locked on the picture of Leo, now crumpled slightly from his grip.

He slumped back against the bed, staring up at the ceiling, the guilt clawing its way back into his thoughts. Cassian’s obsession wasn’t just about lust—it was about control, about possessing something that reminded him of the love he had lost. But it wasn’t enough. No matter how much he fantasized, Leo wasn’t Venus. And that thought gnawed at him every time the fantasy ended.

Cassian tossed the photo aside, wiping his hands clean, and lay back on the bed, his heart still pounding. His mind was a mess, torn between the haunting memories of his past and the obsessive lust for Leo that he couldn’t seem to shake.

The moonlight filtered into the room as Cassian lay there in the aftermath, breathing slowly returning to normal. He knew this was wrong—he knew it was spiraling out of control. But in his mind, Leo was already his, and no matter how much guilt clawed at him, the desire wasn’t going away.

As he finally drifted off to sleep, one thought lingered in his mind: *I’ll have him… one way or another.*