Life is hard, am I right?
Every day, over and over again the same thing.
And you really want me to do this shit every day?
- get up at five o'clock in the morning
- going to the bathroom
- shower
- brushing teeth
- packing my backpack
- cleaning my room
- have breakfast
- running to the bus cause I'm late again
- arriving at school
- taking a deep breath and suppress the urge to just collapse
- tormenting myself trough each hour individually
- enjoy the braeks like nothing else
- off into the next few hours
- every now and then, put the dry bread in my mouth cause the little yogurt in the morning wasn't enough
- getting along with people at school
- have as few seizures and panic attacks as possible
- always smile
- school end
- walking to the bus
- having unimportant conversations at the bus stop and hoping that the bus is on time
- fighting for a seat on the bus
- picking up my brother from school
- trying not to have a breakdown on the street cause he finds it funny to beat me with sticks the whole way, pushing me in front of cars and make up a whole new book full of swear words about me
- saying at home that the day was great
- going into my room
- changing clothes
- wash off make-up
- looking at the mirror
- getting annoyed about a new pimple
- going back to my room
- trying with all my might to concentrat on school
- giving up crying and tearing my hair
- listen to music to calm down
- continue writing my story
- sometimes eatining dinner, sometimes not
- keep writing until I have to sleep
- getting ready to sleep
- laying down in bed
-spreading sleep spray on my pillow so I can finally sleep trough the night again
- continue reading my book
- hoping to get tired
- continue reading on wattpad or watch a few videos cause the spray doesn't kick in yet
- locking at the clock
- realizing that it is already one o'clock in the morning
- realizing that I'm tired
- put my phone away
- turn off the lights
- tossing and turning, because suddendly I'm awake again
- fall asleep slowly
- wake up again around three or four
- becoming frustrated
- suddendly the shitty thoughts from last night kicking in again
- seeing clowns, killer dolls and scary shadows all over the room
- sweating my ass off in fear
- spreading even more spray in the room
- tremble light again
- hiding under the covers
- staring into the darkness with wide eyes
- rethinking my life
- fall asleep again at some point
- waking up again with the alarm clock
- rethinking my life again
No thank you
YOU ARE READING
Trains of thought
PoetryJust some of my random thoughts that need to be written down, otherwise my headache will never go away. You can read it, but you don't have to. You can leave me comments, but you don't have to. It would be nice to know that I'm not alone with my con...
