"How can you say it's not infatuation?"
indeed, a great question.
perhaps I realised it when it was almost time to let go?
when I told myself no more, that's when I realised I don't just like you but something deeper instead.
the time when I tried to forget what you've made me feel,
despite being out of my reach,
yes, you did make me down on my knees and fell.
no, it wasn't infatuation.
I mean, if this is, I would probably take the risk than lose the chance.
I live by the quotes, "Do what you need. Grab what you want."
"Why wouldn't I take the risk?"
perhaps the reason why is that I, too, am afraid of that happening.
What if I did?
What if I was brave enough to do it?
Would something change?
probably no.
I just love you, and even though I have never experienced something like this, I know it is not some plaything.
What I felt and still feel is genuine to the point that I questioned why I was born this way.
I am aware that what I have for you is wrong. And I'd rather be a sinner than deny these feelings, for I know that I can bear the consequences of it than the latter.
I know. I love you, and it's wrong. I want you but I can't. I like you just from afar. And that's the most pathetic thing I've done in this world.
Loving someone I know from the very beginning I couldn't have.
I'm sorry if I can't do what a normal person would. I'm sorry if I'm too cowardly to pursue you. I just can't.
Despite the fact that I am proud of being part of this community, my mind says otherwise.
It screamed at me, saying it's a sin.
it's frustrating because it's you. I have never loved nor liked someone like you before. To the point where I am desperate to beg for answers. too desperate that I even kneeled and questioned everything about it.
