The Gambling Girl.

The Perfect Girl. (Part 2)

   I feel nothing. I can't seem to, since there's nothing to look forward to in my life. Whenever I go to school, I observe the kids who go to the same classes as me, specifically their expressions. I always look to see if they're excited to be here. If they're sad that they had to be there. If they're angry that they have to go to school and participate. I see it all. There's this one girl who I see everyday. Her names, Emily, your average popular girl. But in this school, kids aren't so average. People would consider her the "perfect girl". She's good at academics, sports, partakes in extracurricular activities, helpful to others, good at communicating and is pretty good looking. It's not like I want to look at her, it's because she forces herself to get others attention. She comes to school with this different type of aura, this shining sun type of vibe she brings to the class. The girl who comes to class, early or late, and the first thing she says is, 'Good Morning!', with a big smile on her face to all her teachers in every single class. She has plenty of friends. Popular with both the girls and guys. The popular girl who wouldn't have time for a boyfriend. The type of classmate who would talk to everyone..even me. As much positivity she brings to the classroom and school, I can still see it. Shes hiding something. Her joyful personality is something that she created for only others to see, she's hiding her true self on the inside. I see it. Every time we get our exam scores back, our grades were put on the top right of the paper. I'd get an 100 all the time, no one else would. Emily, was second when it came to grades in our class. She'd always get a 90-94 in all our classes. But when she'd get her exams score sheet back, she'd stare at her paper, like she was staring at its soul if it had one. I'd never see lay her head so low. She wouldn't say a word either. It was like she was in a trance. But whenever one of her friends came over to talk to her about their test scores together, she'd snap back to reality and put on her persona. It seems like I'm the only one who notices the secret burden that Emily carries. It was only so obvious for me because I'm so exceptional. The other kids are not like me, and will never be. Emily seems to stress about how she'd never get perfect grades like me, which could only mean that her parents back at home are expecting her to be perfect. This is only an assumption, which is always correct by the way, but whenever Emily announces her near perfect grades to her parents, they yell at her to do better and might even physically abuse her. That last part might seem like a stretch but it's not. Emily would never reveal her arms in the uniform she wears, she always wore sleeve covered uniform, even when it was a hot sunny day. It's horrible for Emily, to deal with the burden of attaining perfection for her parents, but that will never happen. 'There's always someone better than you'. No matter how hard Emily tries, I'll always get better grades than her. She'd always come second. Becoming perfect is impossible for her.

But on the other hand, for me, it's always been so easy. Nobody has ever told me this, but I can tell that I'm 'The Perfect Girl'. I see the way people look at me in awe at how gorgeous I am, how intelligent I am, and how I'm always coming up on top when it comes to anything. As much as it seems I'm perfect, I'm not really. I'm not good at EVERY SINGLE THING. I'm good at all the things I do. The reason why I can do all the things I do with perfect accuracy is because I have a PERFECT understanding of myself. I'm able to weave together all my best traits, and the opposite, my weak traits, to form me, my true perfect self. Understanding my strengths and weaknesses leads me to becoming who I am. Someone who can do it all, with the utmost confidence. Remembering my previous mistakes and turning them into solutions that configure myself. Let's take a look at a rubik's cube for example.

At first, it's dissembled. All the cubes aren't aligned, the cube is incomplete. If we were to look at a cube like it's a person, it would be confused. Its purpose, its identity, isn't complete. Without the cube knowing what to do with itself, not knowing its own mistakes, we can describe it as imperfect. The cube/ person is imperfect. So we have to work the cube it to where all the cubes are connected.

This is the final product, completion. We take the disfigured cube, jumble it up, and connect it. Now the cube is complete. It's perfect. Now looking at it as a person. The cube, its identity is complete, full sided understanding of oneself leads to one feeling complete. The mistakes we've made, the memories we've made, our strengths and weaknesses. If we connect them to the point where it's all aligned, we become perfect. For us to become "perfect", we must manipulate our bodies to the point of completion and one's true self.

I have achieved this state of mind. I am Maeve, The Perfect Girl.

  

"aeve....w..up..."
  

"Maeve, Wake up!"

(To be continued)