Journey of the heart(3)

Chapter 20: Finding Her Rhythm

Weeks turned into months, and slowly but surely, Mya began to find her rhythm as a new mom. Zaria was growing fast, hitting milestones that filled Mya with both pride and disbelief. Her little girl was already so full of personality—wide-eyed and curious about everything around her. And while the sleepless nights and endless feedings still left Mya exhausted, she was starting to feel more confident, more at ease.

One morning, Mya sat in the living room, watching as Zaria lay on her play mat, her tiny hands reaching for the colorful toys dangling above her. Mya smiled as she sipped her coffee, enjoying the brief moment of peace while Zaria was content. It had become their little routine—early mornings where Mya could quietly watch her daughter explore the world with fresh eyes.

Jaylen walked into the room, still a little groggy from sleep, and sat down beside her. He glanced over at Zaria and grinned. "She's gettin' bigger every day."

Mya nodded, her smile softening. "I know. Sometimes I can't believe how fast she's growing."

Jaylen leaned back, stretching his arms over his head. "How you feelin'? You look like you got a bit of rest last night."

Mya chuckled. "Yeah, she slept for a solid four hours straight. That's a win in my book."

Jaylen laughed, pulling her close and kissing her temple. "I'm proud of you, Mya. I've been watching you settle into this, and you've been amazing. I know it's been hard, but you're handling it like a pro."

Mya felt a warmth spread through her chest. She hadn't always felt like she was doing well, but hearing Jaylen say it gave her the boost she needed. "Thanks, Jay. It's still tough some days, but I'm starting to feel more like myself again."

"Good," Jaylen said, resting his hand on her leg. "I've been thinkin'—we should do something just for us soon. A little break, you know? Maybe get someone to watch Zaria for a night and go out for dinner, just the two of us."

Mya blinked, a little surprised at the suggestion. The idea of leaving Zaria, even for a few hours, felt daunting. She hadn't been apart from her since she was born, and the thought of not being around if something happened made her anxious.

"I don't know, Jay," Mya said hesitantly. "It feels too soon to leave her. What if she needs me?"

Jaylen smiled gently, understanding her concern. "I get it, baby. But you also need time for you, for us. We don't have to do anything big, but even just a couple of hours to ourselves could be good. We got Layla and your mom—they'd jump at the chance to babysit."

Mya thought about it for a moment. He was right—they hadn't had any real time to themselves since Zaria was born, and it was starting to take a toll. As much as she loved being a mother, Mya knew she needed to find that balance Jaylen kept talking about.

"Okay," Mya said slowly. "Maybe we could try something small. Just dinner."

Jaylen's eyes lit up. "Yeah? We could go to that restaurant you love downtown, the one we used to go to before everything got so busy."

Mya smiled, nodding. "Yeah, I'd like that."

The following weekend, they made plans for their first night out since Zaria was born. Layla, true to form, was ecstatic at the chance to babysit, showing up early and ready to spoil her goddaughter with love and attention. She practically pushed Mya and Jaylen out the door, laughing when Mya hesitated for the third time, glancing back toward the nursery.

"Mya, go," Layla said, shooing her toward the door. "Zaria and I are gonna have the best time. You and Jaylen deserve a break."

Mya bit her lip, still feeling a little nervous, but Jaylen squeezed her hand gently. "She's in good hands. Let's go, baby."

With one last look at Layla and Zaria, Mya finally let herself be led out the door, and they were on their way.

They arrived at the restaurant just as the sun was setting, the warm glow of the city's lights creating a peaceful atmosphere. Mya hadn't realized how much she missed going out, the simple pleasure of sitting down for a meal without worrying about diapers or feeding schedules.

Jaylen smiled across the table at her, his eyes soft with affection. "This feels good, doesn't it?"

Mya nodded, leaning back in her chair. "It really does. I didn't realize how much I needed this."

Jaylen reached for her hand across the table. "We needed this. I've missed just bein' with you, talkin' about us, without all the distractions."

Mya smiled, her heart warming at his words. She'd missed this too—the easy conversations, the way they could talk about anything and everything. Over the past few months, their focus had shifted entirely to Zaria, and while that was necessary, it was nice to have this moment just for them.

They spent the evening laughing, reminiscing about old times, and talking about their future. It felt like a little slice of their old life had returned, a reminder of the love that had built their family in the first place.

As they finished their meal, Mya felt a sense of contentment settle over her. The weight she'd been carrying for so long—the pressure of being the perfect mom, the fear of losing herself—had started to lift. She realized that she could be both—Mya, the mom, and Mya, the woman Jaylen had fallen in love with.

"You know," Mya said softly, looking over at Jaylen, "I think I'm starting to get it. What you've been saying about balance. It's hard, but tonight reminded me that I can still be me and be Zaria's mom. I don't have to choose."

Jaylen smiled, his hand still holding hers. "I'm glad you're seein' that, baby. You don't have to do it all at once. We'll figure it out, one step at a time."

Mya nodded, feeling a sense of peace she hadn't felt in a long time. "Thank you, Jay. For always being there, even when I don't have it all together."

Jaylen leaned across the table, kissing her gently. "We're in this together, Mya. Always."

When they returned home, Zaria was already fast asleep, and Layla was curled up on the couch with a book. She looked up and grinned as they walked in.

"How was it?" she asked, closing her book and standing up.

Mya smiled, feeling lighter than she had in weeks. "It was great. We needed that."

Layla winked. "Told you. And don't worry, Zaria was an angel. She went down without a fuss."

Mya walked over to the nursery, peeking in on Zaria, who was sound asleep in her crib. She looked so peaceful, and Mya felt a wave of love wash over her. She had been nervous about leaving her, but now she realized it was exactly what she needed.

She could do this. She could be a mom and still find time for herself and for her relationship with Jaylen. It wasn't easy, but it was possible.

Mya stood there for a moment, watching Zaria sleep, feeling the weight of the past few months lift off her shoulders. She wasn't perfect, but she was learning. She was growing.

And with Jaylen by her side, Mya knew she could handle whatever came next.

This was their life now—full of love, full of challenges, and full of beautiful, messy moments.

And Mya wouldn't have it any other way.