Journey of the heart(3)

Chapter 19: Settling Into Parenthood

The next few weeks brought a new sense of rhythm to Mya and Jaylen's life. Zaria was growing quickly, and though the sleepless nights were still a reality, they had begun to find their footing as new parents. It wasn't easy—far from it—but each small victory, like getting Zaria to sleep a little longer, made Mya feel like she was finally getting the hang of it.

One morning, Mya woke up early, the light streaming through the curtains, and for the first time in what felt like forever, Zaria was still asleep in her crib. Mya blinked, almost not believing it, and quietly slipped out of bed. She tiptoed to the nursery, peeking in at her sleeping daughter, feeling a mix of relief and pride. She had managed to put Zaria down without her waking up immediately. It was a small win, but a win nonetheless.

Jaylen was already up, in the kitchen making coffee, and when Mya walked in, he looked up and grinned. "Look at you, gettin' a full hour to yourself."

Mya smiled, rubbing her eyes. "I don't even know what to do with myself. I can't believe she's still asleep."

Jaylen poured her a cup of coffee and slid it across the counter. "You deserve a little break, Mya. You've been killin' it with Zaria. I've been watching you, and I'm proud of you."

Mya took the cup, feeling a wave of gratitude. It had been hard—harder than she'd ever imagined—but moments like this, where Jaylen acknowledged all the effort she was putting in, made it feel worth it.

"I don't know about killin' it," Mya said, taking a sip of the coffee. "But I'm trying."

Jaylen walked over, pulling her into a hug. "You're doing more than just trying, Mya. You're a great mom. Zaria's lucky to have you."

Mya smiled, resting her head against his chest. "Thanks, Jay. I couldn't do it without you."

Jaylen kissed her forehead, then pulled back, glancing toward the nursery. "You know, we should take advantage of this rare moment of peace. How about we sit outside for a few minutes? Just you, me, and some quiet."

Mya laughed softly. "That sounds perfect."

They sat on the porch, sipping their coffee in comfortable silence, the morning air crisp and fresh. Mya closed her eyes, letting the warmth of the sun wash over her. It felt good to just be still for a moment, to not have to worry about bottles, diapers, or keeping Zaria calm. She loved her daughter more than she could ever express, but the weight of constantly being "on" was starting to take its toll. This little slice of peace was exactly what she needed.

As they sat there, Mya found herself thinking about how much had changed in such a short amount of time. Just months ago, she had been working non-stop, focused on her business, her life with Jaylen, and their future plans. Now, everything revolved around Zaria. And while it was beautiful and fulfilling, it was also exhausting in a way she hadn't expected.

"You ever think about how different everything is now?" Mya asked quietly, breaking the silence.

Jaylen glanced over at her, his expression thoughtful. "All the time. But I think it's a good different, you know? We're in a new chapter. It's challenging, but I feel like we're growing, too."

Mya nodded, wrapping her hands around the warmth of her coffee cup. "I love being Zaria's mom, but sometimes it feels like I've lost parts of myself. Like, the old me wouldn't even recognize the person I am now."

Jaylen's face softened as he reached for her hand. "You haven't lost yourself, Mya. You've just evolved. You're still the same woman I fell in love with, but now you're also a mother. And you're figuring out how to balance both. It's gonna take time."

Mya squeezed his hand, feeling a wave of emotion. She hadn't said it out loud before, but it had been on her mind constantly—this fear that in becoming a mother, she had somehow let go of everything else that made her who she was.

"You think I'll find that balance again?" she asked, her voice small.

Jaylen nodded, his eyes filled with certainty. "I know you will. And I'll be right here with you as you do."

Mya let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. Jaylen's words were exactly what she needed to hear. She knew it wasn't going to be easy, but knowing she had him by her side made it feel less daunting.

Later that afternoon, after Zaria had woken up and the day had picked up its usual pace, Layla stopped by for one of her regular visits. She burst into the house with her usual energy, carrying a bag of groceries and a few baby items she'd found while out shopping.

"Y'all better not be tryin' to keep me from my niece!" Layla shouted playfully as she kicked the door closed behind her.

Mya laughed, waving her over from where she was sitting on the couch with Zaria. "You already know she's waiting for you."

Layla grinned, immediately walking over to scoop Zaria up into her arms. "There's my girl! You miss me, didn't you?" she cooed, rocking Zaria gently as the baby blinked up at her with sleepy eyes.

Mya watched them, smiling as Layla fell right into her role as godmother. Layla had been such a constant presence in their lives since Zaria was born, and Mya was grateful for her energy and support. It was a reminder that she didn't have to do this alone.

"So," Layla said, glancing over at Mya as she sat down beside her, still holding Zaria, "How's it goin'? You look a little less like a zombie today."

Mya chuckled. "Thanks, I think? We're good. Zaria actually slept for a full three hours this morning, so I'm feeling almost human again."

"Three hours? Girl, that's a win!" Layla said, laughing. "Y'all gotta celebrate those small victories. You surviving is an achievement in itself."

Mya smiled, appreciating Layla's ability to always find the humor in things. "You're right. I'm definitely learning to celebrate the little things."

Layla rocked Zaria in her arms, then glanced over at Mya with a more serious expression. "But for real, how are you doin', Mya? Like, really?"

Mya sighed, leaning back against the couch. "I'm managing, I guess. I love being a mom, but it's hard. Harder than I expected. I feel like I'm always on, always trying to keep it all together."

Layla nodded, her face softening with understanding. "I can't imagine how intense that must feel. But you're doin' it, Mya. You're showing up every day, and that's what matters. You don't have to be perfect."

Mya looked at her friend, feeling a lump form in her throat. "I just don't want to lose myself in the process, you know? It's hard to even think about anything else but Zaria right now."

Layla smiled softly, reaching over to squeeze Mya's hand. "You won't lose yourself. You're still you, Mya. It's just gonna take time to adjust. But you got this."

Mya felt the weight on her chest lighten a little. Layla was right—she didn't have to have it all figured out right away. It was okay to take things one day at a time.

"Thanks, Lay. I needed that," Mya said, smiling at her friend.

Layla winked. "That's what I'm here for. Now, let me spoil my niece a little more before I head out."

That night, after Zaria had finally settled down and was fast asleep in her crib, Mya lay in bed beside Jaylen, feeling more at peace than she had in weeks. She knew there were still challenges ahead—long nights, moments of doubt, and the constant balancing act between being a mom and finding herself again. But for the first time, she felt like she was on the right track.

As Jaylen turned off the bedside lamp and wrapped his arm around her, Mya closed her eyes and let out a contented sigh.

They were figuring it out, one day at a time.

And with the love and support of the people around her, Mya knew she was exactly where she was supposed to be.

This was their life now—a beautiful, chaotic, exhausting life.

And Mya wouldn't trade it for anything.