Her Poems of Life

Candy Crush Heartbreak

Today, I was scrolling through random games,
Desperate for a distraction from my endless habit,
Anything to pull me away from the social media trap.
But as I tried to beat a level,
An ad wouldn’t end,
And suddenly, I was staring at something unexpected:
Candy Crush Play.

I don’t even play it—
Never had a single experience with the game.
But those vibrant images brought everything flooding back—you.

I blush, torn between laughter and tears.
How can a silly game conjure up years of memories,
Memories I thought I’d buried?
Yet, here they are, as clear as ever.

I remember that cramped tuition room,
Where you sat beside me,
Your playful teasing and flirtation—
All fun for you.
But for me?
It became an endless reel,
Dancing thoughts, daydreams, secret smiles,
Moments I replayed a million times before bed.

You once said you didn’t play any games except Candy Crush.
So, of course, my people-pleasing heart
Told you I loved it too,
Even though I’d never played a single level.
You smiled, and that was enough.
God, how I wanted you.
But I lost you before I even had the chance.

You flirted with others too—I knew that well.
But for me,
You were my first crush,
My childhood love,
The boy I would’ve done anything for.

I wonder if you ever realized—
In those small moments,
You gave me courage I didn’t know I had.
You were my quiet joy, my hidden ache.
For the first time, I believed
I could belong,
Like the other girls,
Living that teenage dream,
Free from the shadows of my fears,
Just wanting to be near you,
To hear your voice linger once more.

I remember the homework you never did,
How you’d ask someone to dictate,
And how that girl was always the one to help.
Until one day, after your playful fight,
You snatched the homework from her,
Turned to me, and said, “I’ve made my purchase.”
I smiled, thrilled you’d chosen me,
But panic rose in my chest—
How could I dictate to you
When my words twisted and tumbled?

I tried.
But my nerves got the better of me,
And soon the whole room erupted in laughter,
Including you.

You gave the homework back to her,
And I smiled on the outside,
But inside, I was breaking.
Why did my speech always betray me?
Why couldn’t I just speak like everyone else,
And maybe—just maybe—you’d see me?
I wish I could have spoken clearer,
So you could’ve heard me,
For who I truly was.

Maybe then, you’d have seen me,
Not just the shy girl in the background,
But someone who could have made you laugh,
Who could’ve shared more moments,
More time to create memories.

There was another boy in our tuition,
Kind, quiet, someone I could talk to.
But they teased us—
Even you teased me.
You flirted, teased, and asked me to choose between him and you.
And for a brief moment,
It felt like I mattered.
Like maybe, just maybe,
You were interested in me too.

If only I didn’t have this speech problem.
I would’ve made you my boyfriend back then,
Would’ve done so much more.
But instead, I stayed behind the screen,
Hiding, daydreaming,
Watching you from afar.

After eighth grade, you left,
Moved to a different tuition,
And in school, you found other girls.
We drifted apart,
But I still watched you,
Sneaking glances whenever I could,
Riding my cycle just a little slower
To catch a glimpse of you.

You never knew.
But I didn’t care—
Your view from far was enough.

Now, we’re both grown,
Living in different worlds,
But sometimes, small things like Candy Crush
Make me think of you—
Of eighth grade,
The year I drew pictures of us getting married,
Of all the dreams I had,
Because you treated me like everyone else.
For a moment, you made me feel like I belonged.

And for that,
Even after all these years,
You still linger in my heart.
But time moved on,
And so did you.
Yet here I am,
Still wishing sometimes,
That we could go back,
To when you made me feel
Like I was part of your world—
Even if it was just for a fleeting moment.