005. Emotions

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                                 My fingers went numb, and I stared at the table in front of me most of the time while Raskolnikov told us what awaited us in the future

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My fingers went numb, and I stared at the table in front of me most of the time while Raskolnikov told us what awaited us in the future. I thought about the situation in the chamber.

My brain had pushed those hours to the back of my mind so I wouldn't remember anything. I didn't know yet whether I wanted to remember it at all or whether I wanted to forget everything that happened there.
Maybe I wanted that. But I still had to tell Maya about it so that she could avoid it.

I'm sure the others probably already knew what he had done to me.
But I was also sure that they couldn't even imagine the extent of it.

It was maybe an hour that we sat there and listened.
An hour in which he talked about various things such as weapons, fighting methods and men.
Everything we needed to know was written on a board.

I was present, but my attention was completely elsewhere.
How did I know what the Winter Soldier was called? Was it a coincidence that he was assigned to me?
Why was I chosen? And most importantly, who put this information in my colf?

When I thought about it, it must have been one of the doctors. Only the doctors could know how to get this information into our heads. But which of the doctors was it?

We casually copied the topics that were on the board.
How best to seduce men, and so on...

My question about why we were all still different was also answered.
They needed us as individual girls because different men had different preferences.

Fucked up.

We were given various pieces of paper that said everything we needed to know about our soldiers.
We were basically supposed to act in the background and intervene when they were in trouble.

But we should also, perhaps one day, have our own missions so that we could relieve them of work.
Perfect, secretary deluxe.
A cheap worker?

Everyone was told to go to another room, only I was supposed to stay.
Raskolnikov stood at the front, staring down at me.
,,Did you like it?"
I didn't answer briefly.

My fault | Bucky Barnes FFWhere stories live. Discover now