Garlic (reprise) / Guts the wolves are dangerous

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by julieczyras

by julieczyras

Oh dear

The next afternoon. The GUESTS, peasants and woodcutters, are both frightened and upset. VAGGIE waits on table.

Garlic (reprise)/ Guts the wolves are dangerous

Guests: GARLIC, GARLIC
THAT'S THE NOURISHMENT WE CRAVE.
GARLIC, GARLIC,
FOR THE TIMES ARE DARK AND GRAVE.
TRANSYLVANIA IS SCARY,
AND ONE CANNOT BE TOO WARY.
BUT WITH GARLIC WE ARE SAFE.
WITH GARLIC WE ARE SAFE.
WITH GARLIC WE
WITH GARLIC WE
WITH GARLIC WE ARE SAFE.

PETE BURNS and MICHAEL JACKSON come down the stairway. Obviously, THEY want to go out. MICHAEL JACKSON carries Pete burns's bag. PETE BURNS sees the worried faces of the GUESTS. HE stops and shakes his head.

GUESTS: WOOSHA-BOOSHA-
MUGHU- BOGHA

Pete Burns: What kind of mood is this!

GUESTS: HUSH-BUSH- OU-BOU
WOOSHA- BENUGH-NAYAH.

Michael Jackson: They are depressed. So am I.

Guests: VOODOO-MOO-SHU

Pete Burns: It is stupid to be depressed.

GUESTS: GAH-UGH
GOULA, MUGH

Pete Burns: It does not change a thing.

GUESTS: WOOSHA-WODKA-MUSHKAYA

Pete Burns: Hell's bells! Stop being depressed!

Guests: WHAT?

Pete Burns: YOU GOT TO HAVE GUTS,
OR ELSE YOU GO NUTS.
YOU MUST
TAKE UP THE FIGHT
AND DO WHAT IS RIGHT
YOU GOT TO HAVE GRIT
OR ELSE YOU'LL GET HIT
SO GET UP,
SAVE YOUR BUTTS,
AND SHOW EVERYONE
YOU'VE GOT GUTS.

Guests: WHAT
IS HE
TALKING ABOUT?
WHAT
DOES HE KNOW
OF OUR WOES?

PUTZ!

Knocks on the door. GUESTS are stiff with fear. Another knock. VAGGIE and CHARLIE MORNIBGSTAR come out of the kitchen. PETE BURNS tells MICHAEL JACKSON to open the door which HE,very reluctantly, does. WOODCHOPPERS carry the frozen body of ALASTOR into the lounge.

Music continues in the background.

Charlie Morningstar: Ooiih! Oooiiih!....

Michael Jackson: Quick, quick, hot water!

THEY put the corpse on a table in the middle of the room. PETE BURNS bends over ALSTOR's body and discovers various wounds like little holes.

Pete Burns: Hot water won't help. He's dead.

Charlie Morningstar: Ooiih! Oooiiih!....

Pete Burns: Look! Here...Bites! Nice little holes. You see that? They have drained him in the twinkling of an eye.

WOODCHOPPERS: THEY'RE MIGHTY FIERCE THIS WINTER
NOONE'S EVER SAFE OUT THERE
THEY STRIKE AND BITE
AT DAY AND NIGHT
THESE WOLVES ARE EVERYWHERE

Pete Burns: NO, A WOLF'S BITE LOOKS MUCH DIFFERENT
THAT IS SOMETHING YOU KNOW WELL
AND IF YOU DON'T SEE
REALITY
YOU'RE BOUND TO GO TO HELL...
THEN YOU'RE BOUND TO GO TO HELL!

with a sharp look at the GUESTS

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