Tanz Der Vampire (remake)

Garlic

Yay

The lounge of a country inn. The GUESTS, peasants and woodcutters from the little village nearby, are dancing awkwardly to the music of a fiddle player. 
As the music changes, THEY sit down at wooden tables to drink, eat and smoke. ALASTOR, the inn keeper, walks from table to table, supervising the chores of his attractive maid VAGGIE who is waiting on the tables. US., in the open kitchen, we see Alastor's wife CHARLIE MORNINGSTAR cooking.

Garlic

Alastor and Guests: GARLIC, GARLIC!
GARLIC, GARLIC!
TOBACCO, BEER AND VODKA
AND AN OLD WOOD-CHOPPER'S SONG
A TABLE IN
A COUNTRY INN
AND SOME CHUMS WHO SING ALONG

BARAN: IS THERE MORE A MAN CAN ASK FOR?

DRAGAN: WHEN A HARD DAY'S WORK IS DONE?

MORON: YES, A HEAVY CHUCK

DRAGAN: WITH BONES TO SUCK

BARAN, DRAGAN & MORON:
AND A SCENT THAT TURNS YOU ON

ALL: AND A SCENT THAT TURNS YOU ON!

Alastor and Guests: GARLIC, GARLIC THE SECRET OF STAYING YOUNG
GARLIC, GARLIC
THAT'S WHY WE'RE SO WELL HUNG
WHAT IS STRONG IS GETTING STRONGER
WHAT IS LONG IS GETTING LONGER
WITH SOME GARLIC ON YOUR TONGUE
WITH SOME GARLIC ON YOUR TONGUE

The GUESTS hum, while CHARLIE MORNINGSTAR and VAGGIE sing their verses.

Charlie Morningstar: THE MEAT IS FOUL AND STINKING
AND THE VEGETABLES DECAYED
THE FAT IS CLOTTED
THE GRAVY'S ROTTED
BUT THE FLAVOR IS JUST GREAT

Guests: BRING US ONE MORE BOWL NOW
WE WANT MORE 'CAUSE IT'S THE GOODS
AND ANOTHER BOTTLE RIGHT AWAY
TO FORGET THE WORK IN THE WOODS
TO FORGET THE WORK IN THE WOODS

ALASTOR rubs his hands together. HE gives CHARLIE MORNINGSTAR a sign to prepare more stew. Slapping VAGGIE's bottom, HE makes HER bring another bottle of vodka.

All: GARLIC, GARLIC
MAKES OUR MUSCLES SWELL AND GROW
GARLIC, GARLIC
MAKES OUR JUICES RISE AND FLOW
SO WHENEVER YOU FEEL CRUMMY
GET ITS POWER IN YOUR TUMMY
WITH SOME GARLIC THERE'S NO WOE
WITH SOME GARLIC THERE'S NO WOE

Vaggie: YOUNG LOVERS ARE TOO ARDENT
AND THE OLD ONES ARE TOO WEAK

Alastor: WITH SOME GARLIC IN HIS BOWELS
AN OLD GEEZER MAKES YOU SHRIEK

All: IS THERE MORE A MAN CAN ASK FOR?
WHEN A HARD DAY'S WORK IS DONE?
EAT LIKE A HOG
BELCH LIKE A FROG

VILLAGE IDIOT: URRHG!

ALL: THANKS TO GARLIC WE HAVE FUN.
THANKS TO GARLIC WE HAVE FUN.

Charlie Morningstar: GARLIC, GARLIC
I COULD NOT COOK WITHOUT
GARLIC, GARLIC
AND LOTS OF SAUERKRAUT

ESCOFFIER WOULD SCOFF AND COUGH
AND THEN HE'D VENT HIS SPLEEN.

Vaggie: ESCOFFIER WOULD SLAG IT OFF
AND THEN HE WOULD TURN GREEN.

Charlie Morningstar: EVEN IF THE MEAL'S PERNICIOUS
THEY WILL SAY „IT IS DELICIOUS

Alastor: THOUGH THE SUBSEQUENT INFECTION
THEY'D INSIST IT WAS PERFECTION