Unraveling The Faded

Chapter 1

     The wind was warmly crisp, howling softly just enough to ensure it would be heard. The leaves rattled amongst themselves like hushed whispers that yearned to be the loudest in the room. Sunlight kissed most passionately in certain areas. Certain corners. Certain crevices. Certain cold and damp basements that you hoped and prayed remained sealed off. No one, allowed to cross that threshold which you've fought tooth and nail to slaughter any source of light that found its way in. Even though the darkness is excruciatingly deafening. If you were, quote on quote, lucky enough, to have it blaze into your eyes. Touch your skin long enough to feel the warmth and hairs shoot upwards all at once in an unnoticed yet noticed daze up your arm. Only too swiftly to recoil in a hiss and press yourself up against a wall that stood tall amongst the shadows, missing the break of day. Stay hidden.

Hidden in the sense of being there, but blending in. Everyone knows you are there but you're overlooked, almost invisible just not quite. I know it doesn't make sense but that's what I want. I don't want to not be here, I just want to be ignored. Or maybe I don't. I'm not sure. I'm not sure of a lot of things at the moment. I'm not even sure how long I've been walking down this unending street.

It's a bit narrow and unkept for what seems like centuries. I'm wondering how long it will take until the ground gives in and I'm dropped within the earth, in the darkness, all alone with only my own thoughts endlessly.

The buildings in this area are of the same old, uncaring maker. Wretched, tattered and worn for God knows how long. The overgrowth of foliage was something to behold. It really was the only real sign of life in this whole place. No actual life is here and if it is, it's a very sad and desolate life. And yet, the old and war-ruined buildings that must have once been astonishing in their glory days were nothing more than built up cobwebs in unkept corners.

The plants choked them by their throats so much so that there were cracks and rubble falling slowly. Maybe in time they would completely disappear and have no proof of what once was. I stopped for a moment. Looking down at the ground within the cracks, there was a singular, yellow flower. The vibrance of the petals almost seemed unreal. The flower just stood tall, eager to start its new journey no matter the complete and utter bleakness that this world had to offer.

Looking at the flower only continued the disgusted pit in my stomach because I knew there was no such life to even thrive or at least I knew my life would not. And that angered me. Mine would not but this little yellow, bright flower is what would fill this forsaken land. Moving forward, I did not look back as I cut that little flower's life short.

It reeks. The stench of this place would make anyone sick to their stomach. It reeked, but it didn't reek like how you would think. It reeked quite honestly of the forgotten and their hopeless attempts to live. The failure within their forgotten souls was suffocating and cloaked around like a musky fog that died off a long time ago, still lingering. Filling your lungs so much that it burns. You almost are gasping for each breath you take. But each fear-filled breath of air you take only reminds you of where exactly you are. I don't remember a lot of things really and I don't know why I don't know.

It's frustrating to not remember what you're supposed to know. Or let me correct myself, it feels like I know that I know, but I can't remember what I know. If that makes any sense at all. It's all jumbled in my mind, running around in a frenzy and unwilling to settle to give me some sense of clarity to silence the throbbing ache of my head. The annoyingness of this loss of memory is torture. I wish instead it was some sort of physical injury because then that pain would only be temporary. That wound would heal and at most leave a scar for me to reminisce whenever I please. But this won't ever heal. The memory loss may continue to live on as long as I am. Living like that is something I don't think I can do. I'm already being driven insane as it is.

I gasped softly, jumping at the loud clank of metal against metal, echoing in my ears. My eardrums buzzed for a few minutes while the sound became softer and softer. I froze in place. I held my breath as I scanned the area with my eyes and my now heightened senses. Listening for anything I should be aware of. Anything that is out of place. Tuning everything out except for what I was expecting to hear but wishing I was wrong. How I wish I was wrong and it was just my imagination. This place isn't somewhere you would want to end up in. There is no room for mistakes or hesitation because the moment you do, that's it. You're gone. I may not remember much but I know the time I've spent here.