𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥

𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓮𝓮

𝐓𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐫

"Every person has the power to change their fate if they are brave enough to fight for what they desire" ~ Caraval by Stephanie Garber

𓆩 🃘 𓆪

** One year later **

Rain was pattering on the windowpane. It was a mix of water and haze. Maybe even hail - raindrops that made this world feel alive. Except me. I would never feel like that again. Not since they made me lose him. Since they took him from me. It was silly how a loss could change a person. Maybe I was getting insane, but I didn't care.

I loved madness.

Perhaps I just accepted the fact that my world broke into pieces, that I was a broken soul. I would burn the world down if it it meant I could know the truth. I would make them regret. I was waiting. Patiently waiting for the letter.

It would arrive soon. Any moment.

I blew out the smoke from the cigarette which was just hanging off my lips. Inhaling the gray smoke as if it would give me all the answers I was desperately longing for.

My eyes closed for a moment, I was trying to forget, trying to let the drug take control over my senses. Just as I exhaled the smoke, they opened again, giving the sight back to the huge wheat field outside my window.

I rolled the cigarette between my middle and pointing finger, not minding the ash that fell to the floor.

The sweet taste of nicotine was everything which kept me calm. Which kept me together. Otherwise my body already would have decayed into hundreds of shards. Three minutes.

A little flicker came from the few street lamps barely illuminating through the fog. Their light was gone just as my brother. Wasn't it hilarious? Oh it surely was. Insane. Maybe I was becoming gradually crazy. Or maybe it was the drug. I didn't know anymore.

I exhaled another smoke cloud in the same color as the sky. This place became a life in black and white and perhaps I liked the fact that it was colorless. Empty. I was just impatiently obsessed with the arriving night. Two minutes.

The silent crackling of the fire behind me in the chimney comforted the weather outside. It brought warmth and light to this dark room. The only flames that were allowed to burn.

The only flames that were allowed to excist.

The clock hands were just some seconds away from revealing the time. The time I was waiting for. One minute.

It will happen without a warning. It will arrive without my permission. But I will let it happen anyway.

A ringing at my front door made me put away my cigarette right into the nearest trash can. With a vengeful smile on my face, I slowly stepped down the staircase, focusing on the old ebony door decorated with carefully scratched carvings.

His carvings.

I swallowed as a wave of memories flooded over me at this thought.
Now was not the right time to think about it.
I had to concentrate.

With a deep breath I set foot to the door. I cautiously grasped the door handle. Wood which felt rough in my hands.

The doorknob creaked under my touch but I barely noticed it as my heart was overplaying that sound. It was beating fast. Faster and faster. Maybe I forgot how to breathe. Maybe I couldn't breathe.