You're Mine // WLW

Be Careful

published 10/17/24

*Time jump: April 13th Day of Coachella*

"I need that backtrack ready to go on cue and make sure the sound levels are perfect this time!" Max was barking out instructions left and right to the crew.

He turned to me and slightly softened. "You good? You need anything?"

I forced a smile, trying to steady my breathing. "I'm okay...just nervous is all."

He nodded, his eyes meeting mine with that same steady reassurance he always had. "Good. Nerves mean you care. That's what's going to make this performance unforgettable. Just do your thing out there and everything will fall into place."

Here I am backstage at Coachella and my heart is pounding like crazy as the seconds counted down. I was set to perform in about fifteen minutes and everything was a blur of motion and sound. My team was buzzing around making last minute adjustments to my outfit, checking my mic and making sure props were being taken out to the stage. I could hear the chatter spread across the crowd just waiting for me on the other side of the stage. They were a reminder of how real this all was. I was ready to give them my all.

One of the stagehands approached, giving me a thumbs up. "Fifteen minutes, we need to get you mic'd up and in position."

I could feel the adrenaline start to surge, my heartbeat syncing with the bass thumping from the other stages surrounding us. I took a deep breath trying to ground myself, but it was hard when it felt like everything was moving so fast.

My mom wasn't around to steady my nerves this time. After tour had came to an end, she packed her bags and headed back home. As much as I miss her, I'm glad shes back home resting up because this lifestyle is exhausting and I don't want to drag her into the mess of it all.

And as for Billie? Well ever since that tremendous day at the hotel, we been chit chatting here and there every once in a blue moon. The usual. I can't complain because at the end of the day, we both are very busy, especially her. I'm just glad I have to opportunity to turn to her if I ever need anything.

But don't even get me started because Billie and I are both scheduled for the same day to perform here at Coachella and I been internally freaking out ever since I found out about it. Billie is a headliner, so she should be coming on around 10-11pm tonight and well as for me? I'm not a headliner this year around, so I'm performing at 5:30pm which is in about...ten minutes now?!

Billie was probably somewhere out there, maybe prepping for her own set or lounging in her trailer, but definitely on my mind. Knowing there's a chance of her watching me perform gives me chills. I need this to be perfect for her. Maybe she'd be standing the crowd, disguised with glasses and a bandana on her head styled just right to hide her features.

I can feel my palms starting to sweat. I flexed my fingers and shook my hands out trying to ward off the jitters. I glanced at the clock ticking down backstage. ten minutes. This was it. I thought about how if my mom were here, she would tell me picture the audience as friends and not strangers. Connect with them, she'd say. She wasn't here this time, but her voice was still in my head guiding me through this moment.

I feel my nerves creeping back in again. We'd taken a leap tonight, deciding to debut the brand new track. It wasn't just the usual pop and R&B I tap into, it was different. It was raw, a slow, haunting ballad that poured out everything I been holding inside. The song wasn't the same one Max and I had hashed out in that hotel room weeks ago. This was something new, something I'd pour my heart into over the past three weeks.