A Talk With The Quiet Kid

Chapter 2

Katsuki POV

My heartbeat starts racing. I suddenly feel the stinging on my left arm, I relapsed last night. It was a stupid relapse, it wasn't even deep. I'm so f*cking stupid.

'May I ask why?' I hear my sensei ask. I know, but I also don't. I just ask plainly while looking up 'Is it weird if I say that I deserve it?' I see his eyebrows twitch a little. And then he states 'No one deserves to self harm, Bakugou.' You don't know that. I just hum at his answer. He sighs and stands up and walks to his brown, wooden desk. He places the paper down and walks back and sits back down. With my face down I look at him. 'Do you mind telling me about your best friend?' he requests. I feel tears forming in my eyes. I close my eyes and let out a shaking sigh. I can't escape it now. He'll call my parents, eventually.

'Okay.' is what I respond, as I open my eyes, avoiding eye contact with him.

I stay quiet looking all over his office trying to collect the words I should say. With what I should start. I start tapping my feet really fast not knowing what to say and not trying to break down. Aizawa probably noticed that I was anxious so he asked 'what is his name?'

'is.' He's in the past. He can't be used by that term anymore.

'Izuku.. Izuku Midoriya..' I answer. I slowly continue and say 'he really liked All Might- many other pro heroes too..' I stop talking and trying to figure out what to say next. 'We uh, grew up together in the same neighborhood. We were-' my voice cracks, so I repeat myself and mumble 'We were inseparable.'

'Where is he now?' Aizawa asks softly, probably knowing what's coming next.
Why ask then, d*mn it.

I lick my lips and look out the window with the white curtains. I see birds flying and an airplane in the background, flying into a cloud. I let out a cracked sigh while tears are forming in my eyes. 'He killed himself on my birthday last year.' I reply softly, not being able to control my emotions anymore. 'I really wish he opened up to someone to seek help, you know what I mean?' I continue. Not being able to read his facial expression because of my blurry vision. I start digging my nails through my sweatpants in my skin, not knowing if the man that has had me as a student for more than a year sees it. I start to shake and say lastly before I absolutely break down 'I told him to do it, but I didn't think he actually would...'

10 minutes later..

Third person POV

As Katsuki walks to his room, after the talk with his teacher. He started blinking rapidly to hold back the tears that were forming in his eyes again. He sped up his pace and eventually reached his door to his dorm room. He fumbled with the lock and got it open and stormed into his room and closed his door behind him.

Katsuki's room doesn't look livable. The room was a chaotic blend of clothes strewn across the floor, half-opened books piled haphazardly on every surface, and discarded snack wrappers cluttering the desk. three empty water bottles next to his bed, on the ground.

But katsuki is used to this chaos. It's nothing new. And now, he starts to shake. He covers up his mouth with both hands, trying not to let his classmates hear him cry. He needs to release this feeling. He can't take it anymore.

'izuku...' he says unsteady. Not ready for something new. Because he knows he just opened a new door. Because of the stuff he told his teacher. He hates change. He just wants everything to stay the same. It's just too much for him. He just wants his best friend back. But he pushed him away and now he's gone, and Katsuki's still here. And he wants Izuku to know how sorry he is for everything he did. He wishes he could turn back time. He wants to see Izuku's stupid f*cking smile one more time. To hear his voice. To hear that stupid voice one more time. His laugh. his ugly green curly hair. His scary round eyes. His stupid freckles. All the stuff he wishes he could see or hear, which he said he hated, but deep down, deep down he loved all of it. And now it's all gone. The opportunity to be nice to him never came. And god d*mn it, god d*mn it he regrets that so much.

7.15 PM

Katsuki POV

I've been rotting on the same place for the past 8 f*cking hours. Crying, bleeding, overthinking.

I hear a knock. 'Hey Bakubro! We're gonna have dinner now, want some?' it's Kirishima. My head is pounding, ears are ringing, my thigh is stinging. Everything hurts. I mumble a soft 'No.. just uh.. keep some in the fridge for me, please..' I hear him sigh. D*mn it. He probably has noticed how poor i've been eating lately.

'Whatever you say man!' The classmate says behind my door. I can hear him leave until he stops and runs back to my door. Just leave me alone. 'Oh yeah! We're gonna watch a movie after dinner, wanna tag along?' he says. I decline his offer and then I hear his footsteps fade away. A big exhale escapes my mouth. In the corner of my eye, I see the blade I used an hour or two ago. The blood is already dried up.

'You deserve this.' I hear a voice say. Leave me alone. 'Izuku's arm was more f*cked up than what you have now.'  I hear the voice continue. I know. I f*cking know. I'm weak. 'One more, c'mon.'

...

I pick the blade back up.

WORD COUNT: 1002