The next morning, i woke up with the familiar weight of dread settling deep in my stomach. My mind replayed every word of my conversation with Theo in the dungeons, and no matter how hard i tried to push it away, the tension between us gnawed at me.
I hated it. Hated the way he seemed to understand me in ways no one else did, hated the way my heart raced every time he looked at me, and most of all, hated the fact that i couldn't seem to shut it all out anymore.
I wasn't supposed to care.
But i did.
Siting in the Great Hall for breakfast, i barely picked at my food. Pansy was beside me, animatedly talking about the Yule Ball coming up, excited about something Draco had mentioned in passing. Her voice became background noise as my gaze drifted a few seats down.
Theo sat with Blaise and Draco, his posture relaxed, almost bored, but there was an alertness to him, a quiet intensity in the way he held himself. His dark eyes were focused on the plate in front of him, and for a moment, i wondered if he felt the same knot of tension that i did. But if he did, he didn't show it.
"Have you even heard a word i've said?" Pansy's voice snapped me out of my thoughts, and i blinked, turning to face her.
"Sorry, what?" I asked, forcing myself to sound present.
She rolled her eyes dramatically. "I was asking who you're going to the Yule Ball with. Everyone's already pairing up, you know. I heard Daphne's got her eye on someone from Ravenclaw."
I hadn't even thought about the ball. With everything that had been swirling around in my head lately, the idea of dressing up and pretending to have fun was the last thing on my mind. Still, i shrugged. "I haven't decided yet."
"Well, you'd better hurry up," Pansy said with a smirk, "before someone else snatches up all the good ones."
Her eyes darted meaningfully towards Theo, and my stomach twisted. I could feel the heat rise to my cheeks, but i kept my expression carefully neutral. Pansy didn't know about the conversation i'd been having with Theo - no one did. And i intended to keep it that way.
"You should go with Draco," i said, deflecting the attention back to her. "I'm sure he'd love that."
She huffed, her cheeks flushing slightly. "I would, but he's been so distracted lately. All that nonsense about his family obligations."
The mention of Draco's family made me pause. There were rumors, of course - whispers about what the Malfoys were involved in. But in Slytherin, those kind of things weren't discussed openly. It wasn't safe.
Pansy continued to chatter, but my mind was elsewhere again. As i absently stirred my tea, i let my thoughts wander back to Theo.
Was this what he wanted? To unravel me piece by piece until i didn't recognize myself anymore? Or was he just as lost in this as i was, unable to make sense of the strange connection between us?
I didn't know. And that uncertainty was maddening.
By the time Potions rolled around, i had managed to bury most of my thoughts beneath layers of focus. I was determined not to let Theo distract me again. The last thing i needed was another slip-up in class.
I walked into the dungeon, deliberately choosing a seat far from Theo. Slughorn was already setting up today's lesson, a complicated brew of Polyjuice Potion that would take weeks to finish. I set up my ingredients, forcing myself to concentrate on the task at hand.
But of course, Theo had other plans.
Halfway through the lesson, he sauntered over to my table, his movements slow and deliberate. I didn't look up, but i could feel him standing there, his presence as palpable as ever.
