The week after the Amortentia lesson dragged on, each day marked by the increasing weight of Theo's presence and the maddening pull i felt towards him. I had become hyper-aware of every interaction, every glance he cast my way, and yet, somehow, i couldn't bring myself to avoid him.
It was like gravity - inescapable, pulling me towards him whether i wanted it or not.
I spent the nights in the common room, pretending to focus on my homework while he sat across from me, silent but always watching. He never said anything - he didn't need to. His mere presence was enough to make me feel unsteady, and i hated it. I had always been in control, always known exactly what i was doing. But now, it felt like the very ground beneath my feet was shifting, and i couldn't get a grip on it.
And then there was the matter of what i had smelled in the Amortentia.
Peppermint and pine. Theo.
I hadn't admitted it anyone - not even Pansy, who had been too preoccupied with Draco to notice my strange behavior. But i couldn't stop thinking about it. Amortentia didn't lie. The potion revealed your deepest desires, your truest affections, no matter how much you tried to hide them.
But this? Theodore Nott? I couldn't allow it.
And yet, i couldn't ignore it either.
The dungeons were particularly cold this morning, the kind of biting chill that seeped into your bones no matter how tightly you wrapped your cloak around yourself. I hurried through the stone corridors, hoping to clear my head before my first class. The halls were mostly empty, the soft echo of my footsteps the only sound as i moved deeper into the dungeons.
I didn't expect to see him.
But there he was, leaning against the wall at the far end of the corridor, his eyes already fixed on me as if he had been waiting. My heart stuttered in my chest, my pulse quickening even as i willed myself to stay calm. This was just Theo. It wasn't like i hadn't seen him a hundred times before.
But now, everything felt different.
He pushed off the wall as i approached, falling into step beside me without saying a word. For a moment, i thought he might not say anything at all. Theo had a way of existing in silence, letting the unspoken tension do the talking.
But today, i didn't have the patience for it.
"You're always lurking," i said, my voice sharper than i intended. "Do you ever just.. not?"
He gave a low chuckle, and the sound of it sent a shiver down my spine. "I could ask you the same thing."
I shot him a sidelong glance. His expression was as calm as ever, but there was something in his eyes - something challenging. It reminded me of the way he had looked at me in Potions, right before everything had started to unravel.
"I don't lurk," i replied curtly, speeding up my pace. I wasn't in the mood for his games today.
But, of course, he kept up with me, as effortlessly as ever. "You're avoiding something," he said, his voice low, almost teasing. "Or maybe someone."
I stopped walking, turning to face him with a sharp glare. "What exactly are you trying to say, Theo?"
His dark eyes locked onto mine, and for a moment, there was no teasing smile, no playful smirk - just intensity. It caught me off guard, the way he could switch so easily from casual to serious, like flipping a coin. "You smelled it," he said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. "In the Amortentia. I know you did."
The words hung in the air between us, heavy and dangerous. I opened my mouth to deny it, to say something - anything - that would dismiss the truth he had just laid bare. But i couldn't. The lie wouldn't come.
He stepped closer, and my breath hitched in my throat. He was too close now, close enough that i could smell that same intoxicating mix of peppermint and pine that has haunted me since the potion lesson. It wrapped around me, clouding my thoughts, making it impossible to think straight.
"Why do you care?" I asked, my voice barely more than a whisper. It wasn't the question i had meant to ask, but it was the one that slipped out before i could stop it.
Theo's eyes softened slightly, though the intensity never left them. "Because you pretend you don't."
I blinked, my heart racing in my chest. Pretend? I wanted to argue, to tell him he had no idea what he was talking about, but the words felt hollow before they even formed. The truth was, Theo saw through me in a way no one else did. He always had, even when i hadn't realized it.
"I'm not pretending," i said, but the conviction behind my words was weak.
Theo studied me for a moment longer, and then, without warning, he reached out and brushed a strand of hair away from my face, his fingers light against my skin. The touch was brief, barely there, but it sent a jolt of electricity through me.
"You don't have to lie to me," he said softly. "I've known for a while."
My breath caught. I couldn't move, couldn't think. How long had he known? Had i been that transparent? And more importantly - why hadn't he said anything until now?
"I don't.." i trailed off, my voice faltering. I didn't know what i wanted to say.
But Theo didn't seem to need me to say anything. He just smiled - one of those rare, real smiles that i had seen only a handful of times. It wasn't smug or knowing. It was quiet, almost sad. Like he understood something about me that i hadn't quite figured out yet.
"I think you've always been afraid to let anyone see you," he said, his voice low and steady. "To see the cracks."
I stiffened at that, my defenses immediately snapping back into place. "I'm not afraid of anything."
"Liar," he murmured, but there was no malice in his tone. He was just stating a fact, and i hated how much it stung.
He was right, i had built walls around myself for so long that i didn't know how to exist without them. Perfection was my shield, my way of controlling the chaos around me. But Theo was the first person who made me feel like maybe i didn't need the shield at all. And that terrified me.
"Why do you care?" I asked again, but this time, it wasn't an accusation. It was a genuine question.
Theo looked at me for a long moment, and then he sighed softly. "Because i know what it's like to live behind walls."
His words hung in the air, and for the first time, i saw a glimpse of something in Theo's eyes that i hadn't noticed before. Vulnerability.
I had always thought of Theo as untouchable, unshakable. But maybe, just like me, he had been hiding behind his own walls all along.
"I'm not the only one pretending, am i?" I said quietly.
He didn't answer right away, but i didn't need him to. The silence between us was enough.
Finally, he stepped back, giving me space to breathe again. But the tension between us remained, thicker than ever.
"I'll see you in Potions," he said, his voice back to its usual calm, collected tone. But there was something different now. Something rawer, more real. He gave me one last look before turning and walking away, leaving me standing there in the cold corridor, my heart still racing in my chest.
I stood there for what felt like hours, my mind spinning with everything he had said, everything he hadn't said. I didn't know what to make of it - of him, of the strange, unspoken connection between us. But one thing was clear.
Theo was right.
I had been pretending for so long that i didn't know how to stop. But with him.. maybe i didn't have to.
And that scared me more than anything.
