It was almost eerie how the snow transformed the castle grounds. A layer of white muted the world, silencing footsteps and absorbing the usual hum of students laughing or chatting in the corridors. Everything seemed quieter, as if the castle itself was waiting for something to unfold.
The chill had seeped through the walls, and though i was wrapped tightly in my cloak, a different kind of cold clung to me. It wasn't the kind that could be fixed with layers of wool or a warming charm. It was the cold that came from dread - the kind that settled into your bones when you knew that something inevitable was approaching.
After a restless night and more sleepless hours spent staring at the emerald green curtains around my bed, i finally decided to get up and find some solitude. My thoughts kept circling the same questions, the same doubts. I didn't want to think about them, and yet, they refused to leave me alone. It wasn't just Theo this time; it was everything i had tried to keep buried, everything i had never been ready to face.
Slipping out of the common room, i headed for the one place where i knew i could be alone with my thoughts: the Astronomy Tower. The corridors were empty, and my footsteps echoed softly as i walked, the castle's portraits watching with sleepy disinterest. No one was awake at this hour, and for once, i was grateful for the emptiness.
When i reached the top of the tower, i leaned against the stone wall and let the cold air fill my lungs, hoping it might clear my mind. The view was breathtaking - Hogwarts blanketed in snow, the lake frozen over, the sky clear and scattered with stars. But it offered little comfort tonight. My thoughts remained as turbulent as ever.
Theo deserves the truth, a small, insistent voice whispered in the back of my mind. I had spent the last few weeks slowly letting him in, allowing him to see parts of me i had kept hidden for so long. But there was one thing i hadn't been able to share, one secret that i was terrified would change everything.
And that secret was about my family.
The Nott family had a reputation, as did mine. Slytherin families like ours were known for their traditional views and their ambitions, and that was putting it kindly. But Theo and i never really talked about that side of our lives, as if acknowledging it would somehow give it more power over us. We both wore our family names like a second skin - comfortable, but restrictive. An armor we couldn't quite shed.
Theo and i both understood the expectations that came with our last names, but what he didn't know was how deeply i had been forced to live within those expectations. And that if he learned the truth about how far my family was willing to go to uphold their legacy, he might never look at me the same way again.
When i heard footsteps approaching from behind, i didn't need to turn around to know who it was. Theo always had a certain way of walking, a deliberate pace that was hard to mistake. I kept my gaze on the horizon, watching the first hints of dawn color the sky a pale pink.
"You always seem to find me," i said softly, trying to keep my voice steady.
"I told you before," Theo replied, his voice equally soft, "I'm not going anywhere."
He stepped closer, and i could feel the warmth radiating from him despite the cold. For a moment, neither of us spoke, the silence heavy with the weight of everything left unsaid.
"I can't keep hiding things from you," i said, my voice barely more than a whisper. "But i don't know how to say it."
Theo didn't respond immediately. Instead, he leaned against the wall beside me, his shoulder brushing mine. It was such a simple gesture, but it offered me a kind of reassurance i hadn't known i needed.
"Then just start from the beginning," he said quietly.
The beginning. That was easier said than done. The beginning was messy and painful, and it meant tearing down every wall i had ever built. It meant admitting things i had kept hidden even from myself.
