The Slytherin common room had always felt like a safe space for me. Growing up among cunning smiles and sharp tongues, i'd learned to navigate these waters well. But now, with Theo's gaze ever so present, it felt less like safety and more like a stage where everything was laid bare. Each glance, each accidental brush of hands - it was all a performance i wasn't sure i could sustain.
The common room's heavy green curtains cast shadowed patterns across the walls as if the room itself held its own secrets. Tonight, Blaise was busy engrossed in a chess match with Draco, and Pansy was curled up on the other end of the couch, flipping through Witch Weekly and commenting on the latest gossip. I could hear Pansy's voice in the background, but it felt like noise - unimportant compared to the weight of the silence i shared with Theo.
Theo hadn't spoken much today. He stayed close, but his usual teasing smirks and sarcastic remarks were absent. It was as if he, too, was struggling with the enormity of what had shifted between us. That small confession i had offered last night - 'I'm trying' - still hung heavy in the air, an open door we were both hesitating to walk through.
When Pansy let out a frustrated groan over something inconsequential in her magazine, it jolted me from my thoughts. I caught Theo's eyes across the room, and for a fleeting moment, it was as if we were the only two people there.
But the connection didn't last long. Pansy interrupted, her voice cutting through the tension. "Are you even listening?" she asked, glancing between Theo and me with narrowed eyes. She didn't miss much, and i knew she was starting to sense that something was different.
"Of course i am," I replied smoothly, slipping back into the role of the detached, unaffected Slytherin. It was a comfortable mask, one that i had worn for years. Pansy studied me for a moment longer, her eyes sharp and curious, before apparently deciding i wasn't worth the effort tonight. She turned back to her magazine, muttering something about "useless gossip columns."
I let out a breath i didn't realize i had been holding, and when i glanced at Theo, he was watching me with a mixture of amusement and something else - something softer, almost understanding. I looked away quickly, pretending to be interested in Blaise' and Draco's chess game.
That evening, i stayed in the common room long after most of the others had gone to bed. I was restless, unable to find any sense of calm. Theo had disappeared earlier, claiming he needed to "clear his head," and i had been left with a swirl of thoughts i couldn't quite untangle.
It wasn't until the common room was almost entirely empty, with just the dying embers of the fire to keep me company, that Theo returned. He slipped in silently, his presence a subtle shift in the air. I didn't look up, but i felt him watching me as he moved closer.
"You're still up," he said softly, more a statement than a question.
"Couldn't sleep," i replied, my voice sounding small in the quiet room.
Theo settled into the armchair beside mine, the silence between us heavy but not uncomfortable. For a while, neither of us spoke, both seemingly content to exist in the same space without the need for words. It was one of the things i appreciated most about Theo - he never pushed me to speak, to fill the silence with meaningless conversation.
But tonight, that silence felt heavier than usual, as if it held all the things we were too afraid to say out loud.
After a long stretch of quiet, i finally mustered the courage to ask the question that had been gnawing at me for days. "Why me?"
Theo didn't pretend to misunderstand. He leaned back in his chair, his eyes fixed on the dying embers of the fire as if searching for an answer in the flames. When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet, almost hesitant.
