The dungeons had always been my refuge, the cool, shadowy corridors a welcome contrast to the bright and noisy halls of the rest of Hogwarts. I liked the solitude here, the feeling that i could melt into the darkness, unseen and untouched by the world above. The Slytherin common room reflected this - dimly lit by greenish torches, with high-backed chairs arranged around the low flames in the hearth. It was designed for plotting and quiet contemplation, not the chaos that the other Houses seemed to thrive on.
I sat in my usual spot, curled into the corner of one of the leather armchairs near the fire, a book open on my lap. The pages should have held my attention - the theories on advanced Transfiguration were supposed to be fascinating, after all - but my mind kept drifting.
And every time it did, it drifted to him.
Theodore Nott was sitting across the room, barely visible in the low light, his head bent over a parchment. His dark hair fell slightly into his eyes, but he didn't seem to notice, too absorbed in whatever it was he was writing.
I shouldn't have been watching him. I knew that. But there was something about him that had drawn my attention since third year.
I shifted in my seat, my fingers tightening on the pages of my book. I had my own reputation to uphold, after all - sharp, poised, always in control. The girl who could dissect you with a glance, who didn't flinch when faced with pressure. It was the image i had cultivated since i was old enough to understand how the world worked. As a Selwyn, as a pureblood, i was raised to excel, to never show weakness. And i had been perfect at it, until now.
Now, i felt my control slipping.
He must have sensed my gaze because he glanced up suddenly, catching me in the act. For a split second, our eyes met, and i froze. Theo's expression didn't change -no smirk, no raised eyebrow, no indication that he'd caught me staring - but there was something in his eyes, something i couldn't quite name. Curiosity, maybe, or recognition.
I quickly looked away, pretending to focus on my book again. My heart was pounding, but i forced myself to remain still, outwardly calm. I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks and cursed myself for letting him get to me like this.
What was it about him? He wasn't like the others who sought my attention, who thought they could charm me with their family names or their wealth. Theo wasn't trying to impress anyone, least of all me. That should have made him easier to ignore.
But it didn't.
The common room was mostly empty now, only a few students scattered around the room, quietly working on essays or chatting in hushed tones. Draco was nowhere to be seen, likely off plotting something grandiose as usual. Pansy Parkinson was lounging nearby, gossiping with Millicent Bulstrode, but they were too engrossed in their own world to notice me right now.
Good.
I needed to get out of here, away from the stifling atmosphere that suddenly felt too heavy. I snapped my book shut, the sound loud in the quiet room, and stood. As i gathered my things, i felt his gaze on me again. I resisted the urge to look up. I could still feel the weight of that brief moment when our eyes had met, and it unnerved me.
I wasn't used to being unnerved.
The library was my next destination, a sanctuary where i could lose myself in books and silence. I moved swiftly through the corridors, my footsteps echoing faintly off the stone walls. The chill of the dungeons gave way to the slightly warmer air of the upper levels, but i still couldn't shake the tension coiled in my chest.
When i reached the library, i found it mostly empty, as i'd hoped. I slipped into one of the study nooks in the far corner, a secluded spot where i could be alone with my thoughts, i opened my book again, determined to focus this time.
But even as i stared at the words, my mind wandered.
I thought back to third year, the first time i'd really noticed him. He had been sitting alone at the edge of the Great Lake. I had been walking by, my thoughts on my next class, but something about him, sitting there in the quiet, had made me pause. He had looked so at ease with his solitude, and for a moment, i'd wondered what it was like to feel that comfortable in your own skin.
Since then, i'd watched him from a distance, always curious, always aware of him in a way that i couldn't quite explain. It wasn't attraction - at least, that's what i told myself. It was something else, something i didn't understand.
I didn't realize how much time had passed until the library doors creaked open again. I glanced up, expecting to see Madam Pince, but it wasn't her.
It was Theo.
My heart skipped a beat, and i forced myself to look down, feigning interest in that text in front of me. But i could feel him moving closer, his footsteps soft against the stone floor. He didn't speak as he took the seat opposite me, setting his own book down with deliberate quietness. For a moment, neither of us said anything, the silence stretching between us.
I could feel my pulse in my throat, and it took every ounce of self-control to keep my expression neutral. This was a game, after all - a game of silence, of unspoken words. He was testing me, and i couldn't afford to lose.
"Studying?" His voice was low, barely above a whisper, as though he knew we weren't supposed to disturb the quiet sanctity of the library.
I glanced up, meeting his gaze for the second time that evening. "What else would i be doing?"
His lips twitched slightly, almost a smile. Almost. "Always in control, aren't you, Selwyn?"
It wasn't a question. It was an observation, one that sent a shiver down my spine. He saw through me in a way that no one else did, and that was both thrilling and terrifying.
I raised an eyebrow, refusing to let him see that he had rattled me. "Always."
But as i returned my gaze to my book, i knew that something had shifted.
