I'll look after you

05

'S P E N C E R'

It's been two weeks since I've been going to this school. Two weeks of trying to find a place of myself , each day feels like a balancing act trying to keep my head down. But not in a way that I'm scaring people away.

Skylar is a girl that I absolutely adore and friendly, but there's a part of me that's holding back. While she has made me feel included and showed me a glimpse of what girlhood is. I just can't completely give everything from me.

While the guys are so different too in their own way, but they have nothing but kind to me.

They have asked me to join them to hang out this weekend, and I almost said yes. But something inside of me said no. Even though I really wanted to.

Now I'm sitting at home, staring at a wall the silence wrapping around me like a blanket. My homework is done, every page filled with answers. The new is on in the background, but I wasn't paying attention.

My mom's still at the hospital, pulling a another double shift. She was already gone when I woke up this Saturday and I probably won't see her until tomorrow. She's always busy, she's saying that the hospital needs her. Sometimes I wonder she's just trying to escape this empty home. From me.

I glance at my phone and saw a few notifications from social media, but I didn't care. The usual posts are just from people who are hanging out with their friends this Saturday night and having fun.

After scrolling through the pictures, I closed the app and shut off my phone and toss my phone aside. The walls of my living room felt closer like they were suffocating me. Maybe it's because I've been sitting here all day trapped inside of my own head. The silence was getting to loud and I couldn't take it anymore.

So I grabbed my jacket, slipped on my shoes and decided to take a walk. Some fresh air might help, maybe to clear my mind, maybe not. But anything was better then sitting trapped in my living room.

Now here I'am, walking through the streets, the cool evening air brushed against my face. It 's quiet outside, almost too quiet. But it feels different then the silence at home. The sounds of my footsteps on the sidewalk, were surprisingly comforting.

The streets were mostly empty, just a few cars and people passing by. I walk without a destination, just letting my feet take me where they want to take me. Past the corner store and the old diner that sold the best milkshakes during the summer and the best hot chocolate during the chilly seasons.

Speaking of hot chocolates, I started to crave one especially after walking for a while through the chilly air. The thought of something warm and sweet was comforting.

So I turned around and returned to the diner, that I had passed. The bell above the door jingled as I stepped inside. The smell of baked goods filled the air.

As I looked around the diner, my eyes widened when I notice a group sitting in the corner booth. It was them. Skylar, Asher, Theo and Roman huddled together and laughing about something.

I just froze standing there by the door, caught between the instinct to stay or to leave.

They hadn't noticed me yet, too caught up by their world. And for a second I debated slipping out of the door before they did. My hand was already on the door handle, ready to make my escape.