My ceiling is a plain, old, boring ceiling. The only thing remotely interesting about it, is that it's a popcorn ceiling.
But that's okay, because when I'm staring up at it contemplating my life, I like it blank.
Blank ceiling, blank thoughts.
My phone rings, interrupting the still silence I'm enjoying.
What now?
I reach over to grab my phone when my blood freezes over as I see Matthew's name in the notification box.
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Matthew:Hey baby.
Me:Leave me alone.
Matthew:I can't baby, come over at 10.
Me:No.
Matthew:I'll tell everyone what happened if you don't.
Me:That'll screw you over so I'm fine with that.
Matthew:Both you and me know that's not true. All I have to do is rig the story a bit and your life is fucked up Amber.
Me:Fine, I'll come over at 10.
Matthew:Good girl.
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Surprisingly, I don't feel like killing myself, no tears fall down my face, I'm numb.
Numb to my feelings, numb to my actions, numb to the world.
Fuck me, fuck Matthew, fuck everything.
I don't care what happens to me anymore. If anything I'm angry. Matthew has had complete control over me. He has since the day we started dating.
He chose what I wore, he chose my friends, he chose everything about me. But I was fucking okay with the toxic shit he put me through. I told him I wanted to wait until marriage, but he even couldn't accept that.
I walk down the stairs, my mind blank like my ceiling. I feel eerily calm, I shouldn't, but I am. I've accepted my fucking fate I guess. Why worry about it?
I open the front door and walk towards Xander. I don't return his, "Hello." But I do take the cigarette out of his hand taking a long drag out of it before sitting down next to him.
"Are you okay?" He says his deep voice laced with confusion.
"No. No I am not." I take another drag from the cigarette, blowing out the cancerous smoke before continuing, "Not anymore."
"Some people just get kicked in the ass, over, and over, and over again. I'm one of those fucking people." I say, no emotion in my words.
"What happened?"
"My fucking ex happened Xander. My fucking ex."
"What did he do?" Xander's grits out, his jaw clenched.
"He wants me back, but I don't want him back."
"Then don't go back to him."
"I have to go back to him Xander."
"Why?"
"That I cannot tell you Xander." I say, giving him a sad smile.
Xander seems like he wants to say something, but he doesn't. He just scoots closer to me and wraps his arms around me.
YOU ARE READING
The Girl In The Window
Romance"Isn't it funny how all of this started from a just a construction job?" I asked Alejandro, my head resting on his muscular chest. "Yes it is ángel." He says to me, a smile on his face. He leans his chin on my head and sighs, "Sorry ángel." "For wha...
