Love, Take it Off

ONE

The rows of grapevines stretch out further than I remember. Ilang taon na ba ang nakalipas? At kailan pa naasikaso nina mumma at papa ang mga business nila rito?

"Hindi mo aayusin ang gamit mo?" Zereid said, grunting.

Zereid just pulled me out of my daydreams, again.

I let out a deep sigh.

Napayuko ako nang kaonti. I've been focused on the view outside since we left the car a short while ago, completely ignoring Zereid's endless mumbling.

"Bakit pa? Saglit lang naman tayo rito." I said.

I wonder if the girl involved in this marriage feels the same way I have since we left the Philippines.

"Are you sure? Kukunin ko na 'yung space mo sa closet kung hindi mo gagamitin."

"Yeah, I'm fine. If I can't stomach the unexpected plans for our sudden vacation, mas madali akong makakauwi ng Pilipinas kung nasa luggage pa rin lahat ng gamit ko." I said, continuing to stare out the view from my room, watching the world outside unfold.

Zereid bursts into laughter. It's the kind of laugh that's both annoying and dismissive, and he clicks his tongue as if he finds my concerns ridiculous.

"Huwag ka ngang nagda-drama, Reus. Mula bata ka palang alam mo na agad na ganito ang kahihinatnan ng buhay mo. To get married to someone you don't love and . . . A stranger."

His footsteps softly echo on the floor, but still, I'm not ready to face him.

I'm here, about to get married, and the world keeps spinning. Staring at the calm, green scenery outside, I wonder if this tradition still exists. And before actually getting married, I can't help but wonder if those who are forced into marriage feel the same way I do.

Chained, as if we've been sold and stripped of our freedom.

"Oo nga. Bakit kaya ako lang? At hindi ka nila isinama sa ganitong set-up? It's frustrating how they hold on to traditions that feel so outdated."

"Alam mong hindi papayag si Papa na wala sa atin ang makakaranas sa nangyari sa kanila ni Mama." Zereid replied.

I let out a heavy sigh. "Porke ba ako rin ang bunso, ako rin ang gusto nilang itali sa kasal na 'to?"

"Mmm," my brother hummed thoughtfully. "You know, I actually pleaded with Papa noon about this. But you know what he said? He claimed he was just honoring that little wish you had when you were younger. Naalala mo pa ba? Palagi niyong binibisita ang mga lupain natin dito? Think harder. May isang araw na sinabi mo ang hiling mong 'yon."

Napaikot ako at humarap sa kanya. "Hindi ba niya alam that children often believe that the values and beliefs they adopt comes directly from their parents. They absorb lessons from both words and actions, interpreting them as the blueprint for their own lives? That's why I innocetl -"

"You innocently asked him to arrange a marriage for you, particularly after learning that their union was the result of an arranged marriage. It's almost amusing how, in your youthful naivety, you imagined it as a fairytale, completely unaware of the complexities and challenges that often accompany such decisions. Congratulations, Oryn. You're now facing and accepting the consequences of your wish." He chimed in before I could say another word.

Napabusangot naman ako. Muntik malaglag ang panga ko dahil tama nga siya. This is my fault too but . . . Can't he just say something nice or take my side para naman gumaan ang loob ko?

Is he that dense?

"Akala ko matalino si Papa." Pagpapalit ko sa topic. "It's obvious that I expressed that wish because I once saw the beauty in their marriage. But now that I'm older, I refuse to follow in their footsteps. Kita mo naman. Alam kong alam mo ang sinasabi ko kahit na hindi natin pag-usapan ng harap-harapan."