Love, Take it Off

FOUR

"Hindi ka tatakbo?"

Mahina akong napailing. "Hindi . . ."

Hindi ako makagalaw.

Hindi ako makapag-isip nang mabuti.

Not when she stood directly in front of me, completely oblivious of the chaos she had caused.

"Come here," she commanded, her voice slicing through the tension and making me flinch. "I will not hurt you."

Muli akong umiling, my heart pounding like a drum, hands trembling uncontrollably at my sides. I felt every nerve in my body screaming at me to stay away from her.

But then, memories flooded my mind—the first time we met, her words drifting through the dim light of the night lamps.

"And I hope you won't become a monster yourself once you truly see who I am."

"I know . . ." I finally said, struggling to understand the seriousness of what she had done and the promise she had made before. "I know you won't hurt me, Yesenia. Hindi sumusunod ang katawan ko sa kagustuhan ko. Can . . ." My voice trembled, "Can you please, please move away from the body and please come stand next to me instead?" I begged, my words filled with anxiety.

I desperately wished for her to leave that scene behind and come back to me, to reassure me that everything would be okay. My hands trembled as I clenched them into fists, trying to steady myself.

Damn it! Doubt swirled within me, clouding my thoughts. I was unsure about everything—what I was doing, what I was asking for. I couldn't even tell if I was breathing properly. I just hoped she wouldn't see how much I was shaking because, deep down, I knew I wasn't really afraid of her. I wanted to understand her, to see beyond the chaos she had caused.

I focused on her, trying to understand her next move while fighting the urge to look away.

The leaves crunched under her feet as she walked closer, each sound breaking the silence. I couldn't look away from the lifeless body she had left behind, a harsh reminder of what she did. A tiny spark of hope downed me, making me believe he might still be alive, even though the truth felt suffocating.

As the distance between us grew smaller, my heart started to race, each beat loud in my ears. Memories of her manic laugh flooded my mind.

As she got closer, the blood trailing behind her served as a constant reminder of her actions. She had just killed someone in broad daylight. The reality of it hit me like a wave, and I could hardly wrap my mind around it. Kitang kita ko pa rin ang pagdaloy ng dugo niya, a horrifying trace of what had happened, and it made my stomach churn.

Nang makalapit siya sa akin ay agad siyang lumuhod. Natanggal ang tingin ko sa lalaking duguan para matitigan ang mga mata ni Yesenia. Suddenly, her eyes shifted, revealing a familiar sparkle, a glint of sadness that reminded me of when we first met. This was the look I recognized, not the empty gaze filled with bloodlust or despair. This was Yesenia's sad eyes—the eyes I knew so well, the ones that had drawn me in before.

As she stay there, a flicker of vulnerability crossed her face, making my heart ache. I could see the struggle within her. I took a tentative step forward, feeling a pull toward her.

Dala nang panginginig at kagustuhang makita ko siya ng malapitan, lumuhod ako. Harap harapan ko siyang tinitigan. Hindi ko makakailang nangamoy pa ang dugong bumahid sa kanyang katawan, but . . . that's normal, isn't it? This is a normal reaction right?

My hands trembled as I fought the urge to close the distance.

"Nabigla lang ako." I quickly said as she lifted my trembling hand, still shaking from the shock. "Promise, Yesenia, hindi ako takot."