Idol [Lee Felix of Stray Kids]

66. Real Life

AiDi stood in the dimly lit corner of the KBS stage, heart racing as he watched the familiar figures of Stray Kids laughing and joking while preparing for their upcoming performance. The buzz of excitement filled the air, but it was overshadowed by a tension that crackled between him and Hyunjin, who was leaning against the wall beside him, his brows furrowed in contemplation.

"How's Hana?" Hyunjin asked, his warm brown eyes searching AiDi's for something that seemed just out of reach.

AiDi smiled weakly, pulling out his phone to show Hyunjin a recent text. "She's doing okay! A little morning sickness, but it's manageable. She just wished she could have stayed for the show. She's really looking forward to seeing you all when she feels better."

Hyunjin's expression softened for a moment as he glanced at the message, but the concern soon returned. "I wish she could be here too. It's been a while since we all hung out like that."

"Yeah, I know," AiDi replied, his fingers toying with the edge of his phone case. "But do you know what I wish even more?"

"What's that?" Hyunjin asked, though he had a feeling he already knew.

"I wish we could just tell everyone about us." AiDi felt his heart thump in his chest at the thought, his eyes darting to the other members who were laughing and chatting nearby. "It's frustrating hiding it, Hyunjin. I just don't understand why we have to keep it a secret."

Hyunjin's expression darkened slightly. "We've talked about this, AiDi. It's not the right time. The tour is so intense right now, and I just don't want to put you through any unnecessary attention or pressure."

AiDi's brow furrowed in response. "Unnecessary attention? Hyunjin, we're not just some little fling to hide away like we're ashamed. We deserve to celebrate our love, not conceal it!"

"We're not ashamed, and you know that!" Hyunjin's voice rose, momentarily catching the attention of Lee Know, who shot them a curious glance. Hyunjin lowered his voice, continuing with a frustrated whisper, "I'm trying to protect us! You're not a celebrity. You don't know what it's like out there, the way fans and the media can twist things. It could ruin everything for both of us!"

"But we can handle it together!" AiDi insisted, stepping closer, urgency laced in his voice. "I'm tired of lying. What if someone finds out and twists the story? It'd be better if we just admitted it ourselves. We're already a couple, can't we just acknowledge it?"

Hyunjin pressed his lips together, visibly torn. "You don't understand, AiDi. After the tour, things will be different. I promise we can be open about it. It's just... I need to focus on the performance, on the group. Right now, I can't have any distractions."

"Distractions?" AiDi scoffed, his frustration bubbling to the surface. "So, our relationship is just another problem to solve? I thought we were supposed to support each other! I supported you all the way until now, and this is what I get?"

Hyunjin's expression softened, realizing he may have gone too far. "I'm not saying that. I care so much about you, AiDi. You mean the world to me, but can you please just trust me on this? Just a little longer?"

The plea in Hyunjin's voice struck AiDi like a physical blow, and he looked away, trying to hold back the torrent of emotions threatening to spill over. "I do trust you, Hyunjin. But it feels... lonely sometimes. Watching you from the sidelines, knowing that I can't tell anyone how happy you make me."

Before Hyunjin could respond, loud cheers erupted as the other members of Stray Kids finished their last checks and began heading onto the stage. AiDi instinctively stepped back as Hyunjin's fellow members—Felix, Han, BangChan, Changbin, Seungmin, Lee Know, and I.N—made their way towards the spotlight, full of energy and excitement.

"Hyunjin!" Felix called, scanning the room for his friend, his face lighting up when he finally spotted him. "You ready? Let's give them a show!"

Hyunjin gave AiDi one last look, a mix of regret and resolution painted across his features. "I'll talk to you after the performance, okay?"

"Yeah, sure," AiDi muttered, trying to sound nonchalant even as the regret clawed at his insides.

As Hyunjin joined the group, his aura shifted from distracted and conflicted to charismatic and confident, ready to perform. AiDi watched from the sidelines, his heart a mix of pride and pain as he marveled at Hyunjin's ability to shine on stage, even as shadows of their earlier argument lingered.

As they started their performance, the stage lights illuminated Hyunjin, his body moving effortlessly in time with the music. AiDi couldn't help but feel a swell of admiration wash over him. That was the man he loved—a dazzling star—but it didn't diminish the ache in his heart. He wanted to share that love with the world, to be more than a secret.

After a few songs, AiDi stepped away from the stage, needing some fresh air and a moment to collect his thoughts. He found a quiet corner away from the chaos, pulled out his phone, and dialed his sister's number.

After a few rings, Hana picked up, her voice lively despite her earlier struggle with morning sickness. "Hey, AiDi! How's the show going? Did you see Hyunjin? I wish I could be there!"

"It's going well, but I need to talk to you about something..." AiDi's voice trailed off, uncertainty creeping in.

"Something sounds off. What is it?" Hana's tone turned serious. "Is it about Hyunjin?"

"Yeah," AiDi admitted, feeling the weight of his emotions pressing down on him. "We had a... disagreement. I want to announce our relationship, but he wants to keep it secret until after the tour. It's so frustrating, Hana! I just want to be honest."

There was a pause on the other end, and AiDi could almost hear Hana thinking. "I get it, AiDi. It's tough hiding something so important, but maybe Hyunjin has a point? Being a public figure comes with its own set of challenges."

"Yeah, but I don't see why I should keep hiding. It feels like I'm ashamed or something," AiDi argued, running a hand through his hair. "I want to show him off—not just in private!"

"I understand," Hana replied thoughtfully. "But think about what he's going through, too. He's part of a big group, and the pressure is intense. Maybe he really believes it's for the best—for both of you."

"Is there a way to make him see that it's not just about him?" AiDi sighed, frustration re-entering his voice. "I love him, Hana! I want to be there for him and for us. It just feels so lonely on the sidelines!"

"It is lonely," Hana sympathized. "But you're also his support system. If he feels he needs to protect you by keeping things quiet for now, maybe it's worth considering. Can you give him a little more time? Maybe talk it over again after the tour?"

AiDi took a deep breath, feeling the heaviness of her words. "I guess I could try... but it's still really hard."

"Of course," Hana reassured him. "Just don't lose sight of how you feel, and make sure to communicate that to him, too. No relationship is easy. Just know that you have to be on the same team."

"Thanks, Hana," AiDi said softly. "I'll talk to him after the show. Maybe I can find a way to make him understand without feeling pressured."

"Exactly! Just be patient with each other," Hana encouraged. "And keep me updated, okay? I love you!"

"I love you too. And tell Charlie I miss her!" AiDi replied, a small smile returning to his face.

After ending the call, AiDi felt a bit lighter. He took a moment to breathe, grounding himself before heading back inside to watch the rest of the performance. Hyunjin's voice rang out through the building, and AiDi felt a mixture of pride and pain at how beautiful he looked, shining on stage.

As the performance continued, the crowd roared, but AiDi found himself lost in thought again. Could he really wait? Would Hyunjin understand where he was coming from? All he knew was that their love deserved to be celebrated, and he would do whatever it took to make that happen—even if it meant waiting a little longer.

After the performance, he hoped they could find the time and space to truly talk. Until then, AiDi remained hopeful, his heart still yearning to be as open and free as the love he felt for Hyunjin. All he could do was be patient, trusting that in the end, they'd find their way through the shadows and into the light, together.