God Idol Project: Hope [GIPH]

Chapter 13: Don't Ever Let It Slip

The trainees were flustered upon hearing the announcement from the company about the debut stage evaluation date. It was much earlier than they had anticipated.

The trainees had to prepare a perfect stage in just over two months. Of course, they had to continue their regular classes and schedules as well. The available time was drastically insufficient.

To make matters worse, the evaluation would be conducted on a stage prepared to mimic a real performance, complete with cameras and external audience, just like a music broadcast.

One team stage and one individual stage each. Even if the end-of-month evaluation was omitted, could they really prepare satisfactorily in just two months?

Additionally, if they had to prepare as if it were a real stage, extra elements beyond dance, singing, and rapping were needed. They needed to be mentally strong to handle the increased tension, adept at managing their gaze on the camera, and possess stage presence, star quality, and charisma.

There was no certainty of being selected for the debut team. I wasn't given the time to build confidence through skill development. But on the other hand, I thought this was an opportunity. A golden opportunity.

There were trainees who had been waiting for years to debut, and some even moved between agencies hoping for their big break.

But getting a debut opportunity almost as soon as becoming a trainee? Wouldn't any aspiring idol be envious of that? Provided their skills were up to par.

Objectively speaking, my skills were still lacking except for vocals. But if I practiced insanely hard for two months, wouldn't things work out somehow? If I demonstrated my potential for growth, maybe I could earn extra points?

If I could raise my skills to a level similar to other trainees within two months, I imagined myself on stage for a brief moment and reached a conclusion. It wasn't disadvantageous for me. It was worth trying.

To showcase my skills, I had to avoid being nervous. Reflecting on my middle school competitions, I wasn't particularly nervous compared to others. While others would tremble their hands or legs, I would just wait blankly. Even during company auditions or sudden end-of-month evaluations, I wasn't very anxious.

I wasn't intimidated by cameras either. Although I didn't enjoy having my photos taken, I had no aversion to others taking them. I had been photographed and filmed countless times since I was very young, so I had become used to it.

The naturalness of the videos taken during my music journey with Hyun-oh wasn't just because Hyun-oh made me comfortable. More than anything, Hyun-oh's music had always been with me. I was confident in my singing.

That confidence was partly based on superstitious belief and also on the evaluation of Hyun-oh's songs from a third-party perspective. I was confident I wouldn't fall behind any trainee in terms of singing.

My goal was to stand at the pinnacle of idol fame. I couldn't hesitate here. I didn't even consider what would happen if I missed this debut opportunity. I had made a final stand like a general facing a decisive battle. There was no place to retreat.

-

"Do you want to keep complaining even after debut? If you're sick, just whine about it. You're such an idiot."

Oran scolded Park Ha, who had sprained his ankle during dance practice, while applying a pain relief patch.

How could words and actions be so different? Despite grumbling, Oran was kindly treating him. Is this what they call tsundere? It was my first time seeing it. Why doesn't he speak honestly according to his feelings? Is it just his nature?

"What are you looking at?"

Oran seemed annoyed by my intense gaze. It was somewhat amusing since it was a type I hadn't seen before. If Oran could read my mind, he would furrow his brow immediately.

"Are you hurt too? Do you want me to put on a pain relief patch for you?"

Cold water, then hot water?

I burst into laughter a bit late. Oran seemed to view me as slightly crazy, but I didn't mind. Although he wasn't someone to look up to, he was quite a good friend in many ways.

˚˖✧✧✧˚.-

I heard a faint voice calling my name.

"...Iwon, Ham Iwon. Are you very sleepy? Should I buy you some bread from the vending machine?"

"...Ah, I fell asleep. Bread... I'll go to the cafeteria."

Hyung Chorok came to pick me up. He must have come to find me in the hallway leading to the cafeteria when I didn't show up, so he came to the classroom. I had fallen asleep without even realizing it. No, it was more like fainting. I was still groggy. I couldn't even endure the morning hours.

Since the announcement of the debut team evaluation date, I had been using my afternoon class time for sleep. I might end up investing all my class time in sleep in the future.

"You're not awake. What time did you get home yesterday?"

"3? 4 o'clock? Anyway, I was the last."

"Did you just act recklessly because there was no one to stop you? Don't try to do the same as Park Ha, who doesn't attend school, or Seo-hon, who's a university student."

Ji-on was the type to go home at a fixed time, and Chorok hyung was the one who stopped me if I overexerted myself. Chorok hyung had finished practice early yesterday because it was his mom's birthday and he went to visit his family.

"Even so, don't overdo it. I know you're anxious as the evaluation day approaches, but if you get sick, it'll be more harmful."

"I'll be careful. I overdid it yesterday because I was in a good concentration."

"I'll keep an eye on you."

But the upcoming stage evaluation pressed down on me. It wasn't enough. You haven't worked as hard as others. The time is drastically insufficient. Wouldn't you regret not doing more...?

˚˖✧✧✧˚.

Why did Oran call Ji-on "Jeton"? That curiosity was resolved later.

I had completely forgotten until I ran into Ji-on in front of the vending machine during a break and suddenly remembered to ask.

There wasn't a complicated backstory. Kim Ji-on had once performed as a rapper under the stage name Z-on, and the British pronunciation of Z-on became Jeton. Oran liked Jeton more because it sounded stronger.

"Ji-on, should I call you Jeton too?"

"Do as you please. I'm used to both names now."

Ji-on, who seemed sensitive, had a surprisingly easygoing personality. He resembled a movie actor with a decadent aura, but looked much gentler. Probably because he was younger.

Ji-on would be even more popular if he aged, his skeletal structure changed, and baby fat disappeared.

"Did you practice rapping well? I heard you're outstanding among rappers."

"...They say my voice stands out too much in group songs."

"Stands out?"

"I tried changing the tone a bit, but it still stands out."

Although Ji-on's tone is deep, it's not particularly unique. Moreover, Ji-on's skills weren't lacking enough to disrupt the team's harmony. It was strange. It should rather be a strong point, so why...?

"Hmm. Did another rapper have the same issue?"

"Yeah. How do you know?"

"Could it be an unfounded criticism? Maybe to undermine you because you're good."

Repeated criticism can make one shrink. Could it be that someone intentionally targeted Ji-on to undermine him?

Ji-on was a standout rapper, so it made sense he would face some resistance. That was my guess.

"Is that so... Thanks. I was unnecessarily worried. You solved my concern."

"Ji-on. Am I perceptive?"

Ji-on's lips, which had been lightly smiling, deepened.

"Nun ja."

What does that mean?

˚˖✧✧✧˚.

Preparing for the team stage was more difficult than I had anticipated. None of the trainees in the randomly assembled team were close friends.

Perhaps that's why I was even more stressed. It seemed like the team was arranged considering the position of the group that originally performed the song we were covering. Naturally, I was assigned the main vocalist position, but there were almost no parts where I danced at the center. It was a song by a group known for its high notes.

Oh, it's going to be hard to stand out in a group performance. That thought kept crossing my mind as I practiced the dance moves after being assigned the song. The song itself had a playful, mischievous style with a street vibe, so I received help with the dance details from Park Ha. Even though I was a competitor, Park Ha didn't refuse to help. When I asked him about it, he answered seriously.

"Iwon-hyung! I believe kindness will eventually come back to you. Instead of dragging others down, think about helping each other up! Even if you debut, you won't succeed with that kind of attitude. It's not a solo debut."

Park Ha seemed more mature than I was. Outwardly, he looked like a lively big dog, but maybe he had the wisdom of an old soul inside.

"Thank you. I'll do my best. I want to make sure your help feels worthwhile."

˚˖✧✧✧˚.

I don't remember exactly how two months passed. The song and dance were engraved in my body as much as I practiced.

The daily routine of leaving in the morning and coming back at dawn continued. I could only have breakfast with my parents, but my exhaustion left me with no appetite, so I just had a quick meal and went to school. There was no time to chat with my parents.

Since the day I joined the agency as a trainee, my parents had quietly watched over me. Despite their worries, they didn't show it. Maybe they didn't want to add to my burden.

No one could do it for me. It was a hardship I had to overcome alone. It was tough, but I had to endure because giving up was not an option.

While I was struggling, the two months had passed, stacking up one by one.

Finally, the day of the stage evaluation arrived.

My mood on this important day was the worst. When I woke up in the morning, my eyes felt unusually stiff. It was so hard to get up. It didn't seem much different from other days up to this point.

However, the morning daze continued, and my limbs felt limp. I hoped that washing up and having breakfast would help, but it didn't. In fact, I developed a slight fever.

For the debut showcase, the agency specially invited not only industry professionals and general audience members but also the trainees' families. This meant that the debut evaluation stage was a chance for my parents to see the results of my efforts and alleviate their worries.

But my physical condition was like this. Damn it.

I desperately tried to act as if everything was normal. My parents would be arriving separately. So, I just needed to hold out through the morning and on stage.

I packed my stage costume and left the house as quickly as possible. After arriving at the company, I did a light practice with the trainees performing in the team stage and then moved to the Daehangno small theater.

I managed to get through the final rehearsal somehow. As I sat on the floor behind the stage, the medication seemed to kick in, and I could endure better than earlier.

I felt uneasy about rushing through the personal stage rehearsal, but I thought I could still perform the team and personal stages without issue.

Why was my condition like this today of all days? If only I had been sick a day later, it wouldn't have been a problem at all.

I remembered the advice from Chorok Hyung to avoid overdoing it and Park Ha's words about not pushing beyond physical limits. I was foolish. I shouldn't have sneaked back after leaving the company to do extra practice.

Fortunately, my pale complexion was hidden by stage makeup. The makeup artist for SEED seniors helped with the makeup, but there was almost a moment when my condition was about to be exposed.

When asked if I was sick because my skin was too pale, I made an excuse that it was just how I looked. If my fever hadn't subsided for a moment, everything might have been exposed and reached the representative.

Although it's embarrassing to admit, managing one's condition is a skill in itself. If a trainee were sick with body aches on such an important day, would they be understood generously? No, there's no excuse even if points are deducted.

People may worry and feel sorry for me, but regardless of those emotions, I would receive negative evaluations. The world is never easy.

Other trainees would probably laugh at me inwardly. Can't you even manage your condition? What terrible luck.

I mustn't let it be discovered. Until the end of the stage and back home.