The Outcast's Rebirth

CHAPTER 38: Ashes Of Memory

  Winston couldn't shake the memory, the weight of it crushing down on him even now. It seeped into his bones, dragged him back to a moment when he was nothing but a scared boy, desperately trying to be someone he wasn't, a boy named Alfie Jr., trying to outrun his own ruin.

But no matter how fast he ran, no matter what kind of life he built afterward, that fire always caught up to him.

__________

Flashback

Alfie Jr. was just fifteen years old, tall for his age but hunched over in the way of someone who didn't want to be noticed, didn't want to take up space. His friends-no, not friends, more like the people he hung around with-walked beside him, their voices too loud, their footsteps too sure. Alfie kept his head down, the weight of his backpack digging into his shoulders. It wasn't full of school supplies like it should have been.

It was stuffed with R-rated CDs, tapes he knew he shouldn't have. It was stupid, reckless, but Liam had pushed him into it. And he'd let it happen because that's what he always did. He let people push him into things, hoping maybe if he went along, they wouldn't realize how pathetic he really was.

The hallway was quiet, too quiet, the kind of silence that made everything feel like a bad dream. All the other students were packed into the school theater, waiting for the new principal to make his grand entrance. Alfie didn't care.

He never cared about stuff like that. He didn't care about school, about rules, about any of the things he should have cared about. He only cared about the things that didn't matter-like what people thought of him. Like the way his stomach twisted whenever Keith so much as glanced his way.

Alfie could still feel Keith's eyes on him, even when he wasn't there. That sick, gnawing feeling of not being good enough, of not measuring up to someone as good, as pure, as Keith. It festered in him like a wound that wouldn't heal, making him reckless, making him stupid.

"This way," Liam hissed, his voice a conspiratorial whisper. He led them to the far end of the hallway, to a dark, unused classroom where no one would find them. Kazeem trailed behind, looking nervous, like he always did.

Kazeem wasn't built for this kind of thing. Neither was Alfie, if he was being honest with himself. But he had to pretend. He had to act like it didn't bother him, like he was one of them, not some scared kid who'd been pressured into this.

Liam slipped into the classroom first, holding the door open for the rest of them. Alfie hesitated for a split second, his fingers gripping the straps of his backpack like a lifeline. His gut was screaming at him that this was a bad idea, but he ignored it. He had been ignoring that voice for a long time now.

The door clicked shut behind them, and the room was plunged into a thick, suffocating darkness, the kind that made the hairs on the back of Alfie's neck stand on end. The only light came from the dim glow of the old TV in the corner, flickering like a dying star. Liam wasted no time setting up the CD player, his movements quick and confident. He had done this before. He didn't care about getting caught. He thrived on the danger of it.

Kazeem wasn't so sure. "Are you sure we should be doing this?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. He was glancing around nervously, his eyes darting toward the locked door as if he expected someone to burst in at any moment. "What if we get caught?"

Alfie forced a laugh, but it sounded hollow in his ears. "We won't get caught," he lied, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. His palms were sweaty, his heart thudding painfully in his chest. "I rented these from some sketchy old guy downtown. No one's gonna know. And besides, we'll be done before they find out anything"