Satire Y/N Fanfiction Series - Book #4: The Golden Retriever

Chapter 19 - Mission is a Go

Chapter 19 - Mission is a Go

After the whole dress up shit I just did, I kinda just went to bed. I don't have anything to do and I was already tired from the fight with the gang in the basement. Like shit it was an eventful day to say the least.

A/N: I found out Liam Payne died just now. I am not ok.

I end up waking up late, cause its the weekend. I got ready and ate my breakfast that was at lunch time, but I'm gonna call it breakfast anyways. My clothes were easy to put on and I just put my hair in a ponytail to, as mom says 'to change it up' or whatever. I think this looks good but I'm not sure what is considered good.

For reference, I'm just wearing a black dress pants heald up with a brown belt and a black button up shirt. I decided to put my leather jacket on top of this, even though mom hates it, I'm still wearing this. You can rip it off my dead body.

For my transportation to Homecoming, I don't think I'm going to ask my parents for a ride. I already walk to school on a daily basis. This ain't different.

I asked Charlie to come by to bring me the ticket when he finished getting ready himself. I don't really know when he's going to get here-

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Oh. Never mind that's him. I go to open the door and the first thing I see is Charlie in the most decked out suit I've ever seen. For fucks sake, not only is he wearing a full ass black suit but he also has a fucking red rose in his breast pocket. He looks like he is quite literally about to tango.

"Hey bro...." He starts off by greeting me but then looks me up and down and slowly his face gets more and more uh....I don't know how to describe this face. Uh... constipated?

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" It's like he was trying to look at me while trying to not look at me at the same time. Like I was roadkill on the street you got surprised by in the morning on your way to school or work.

"You're not done getting ready yet right?" I've been ready for a real long time now. Do I not look ready? I look down at my clothes because at this point he's making me feel self conscious.

"I am..." His face continues to morph to be um...more constipated?

"Ok I'm coming in, you clearly look like shit (no offense) and no one is going to help you." Charlie grabs the door and gets in my house before I could say anything.

"Hey! Ok Charlie I don't look that bad."

"At best you look like a half baked cake, does your mom have makeup?" He starts looking around the house and touching shit. Fuck he's gonna give me one of those TV makeover moments isn't he?

"Uh, I think she has stuff in her room. Not sure what its for though...Wait, how do you know what you're doing?"

"I'm friends with Heather and Britney, do I need to say more?" True, they do their makeup every day I see them.

"Ok yeah thats fair."

"Plus I did thing with Big D one time for one of his variety streams where we had to put makeup on each other. That was the first time I touched makeup I think?" Ok new fact, 'Big D' streams. But that sounds like he has no fucking experience.

"Your experience sounds like shit Charlie."

"It's better than yours."

"I'm gonna ask mom first."

"Man I didn't know you would care to ask."

"I like living here, so yeah..." God I have to admit, I act like a wuss in my own house.

"Well get her over here, we are fixing your fucking fit, you look like shit."

"Ok fine, fine."

I walk over to mom and dad's room and knock on the door.

"Yeah?"

"Mom....can I....borrow your makeup?" I hear footsteps for a bit and the door opens to reveal mom in her pajamas.

"I thought you didn't want any, but ok. One second."

"Its not because I wanna do it..."

"Hm?"

"My friend in the living room says I quote that "You look like shit" end quote."

"Oh you have a friend over? I never get to meet your friends, give me a second. First impressions matter." I ended up standing there for twenty minutes. *sigh* This is such a drag.

Time skip brought to you by my actual Patreon

Mom finally opens the door in outside clothes, with a big ass sparkley bag in her hands.

"Ok now bring your friend to the dining room, we're gonna do this there." After I get everyone into the dining room and get the introductions out of the way, we begin the painful several hour process of making my face colorful and shiney or whatever.

Time skip brought to you by the Scottish

I endured the attack of dust, creams and rainbows for an hour and thirty minutes, I counted those down in my head until they were done. The amount of times I got yelled at to stop moving by either Charlie or mom was too many. But in the end, I still think it wasn't worth it. Even when I was turned to a mirror and I looked like a different person, a prettier person, that even Joey might like...

a/n: She's going to pull a Taylor Swift - You Belong With Me lol