The Random Scribblings of an Underconfident Writer.

Inspiration

 10/18/24

I remember now why I stopped reading for so many years. 

Books are just so... good, and the ideas are so beautiful! How did they manage? I can't help but imagine what all the writers felt while spinning such beautiful stories and sending them out into the world. Fear? Excitement? Paralyzing anxiety? Pressure to be better? 

Once I start reading a book, I cannot put it down until I've finished it. Doesn't matter how long I end up going without sleep--I. MUST. FINISH. 

And then afterwards, there's that lost feeling again. Like "what do I do now? That was so amazing, and I'll never enjoy another book again."

And then you decide to read a different book, and then you're just blown away all over again, but differently. It's beautiful torture. 

I just finished reading my second novel for the month. I want to write, but I also want to read, but it's too late in the night to start reading another book, but also what do I write? I want to just allow inspiration to take over, but I worry that will only drag me by my nose down a wild path, and I'll end up flying off the handle with a new idea and ignoring my current novel that I've been struggling with.