My Protector

Hurt and Run

I watched Jason closely after finishing my story, waiting to see his reaction. It absolutely freaked me out that he didn't have any emotion on his face right now, and even as I searched and searched his features for anything, I came up blank.

"Say something." I pleaded, losing patience quickly. He blinked at me and his eyes travelled away from me, going down to his fingers. He glanced at me briefly, then shook his head and looked away again. I didn't know what to make of this.

"What does that look mean?" I said softly, almost afraid of his answer. He didn't make any sign of answering. He just continued to play with his fingers.

"Jason?"

This time he let out a sigh, his movement stopping. His head slowly looked up, eyes hard as stone.

"What the hell have you gotten yourself into Avalon? Why can't you just be a normal teenager!?"

His voice echoed in the empty room, tearing at my heart piece by piece. All I could do was stare at him, surprised at the fact that he yelled at me. He actually yelled at me.

To say I wasn't shocked would be a lie. He was.. rejecting me. Not only that, but he was judging me. Jason, the person that cared about me and that I could count on was basically blaming me. Like it was actually my fault that I was in this sort of situation. I get that I didn't listen when he told me not to do this job, but I really needed the money. My apartment would've been taken away from me. The land lord was already stretching the rules for me by letting me live alone at 17, but not paying the rent? He wouldn't let me stay no matter what I said.

Jason didn't want anything to do with this, or me.

Could I blame him though? Really? Who would want to get involved with all of this trouble? Who would want to even know me?

"I.. er.. I'll go."

Even though my voice was strong, I could feel my heart breaking slowly. I expected him to help me.. I don't know why. I shouldn't expect anything like this from him.. but it still really hurt. I felt like I lost his respect for me, I felt like I'd lost him.

I had failed him.

I was starting to get to my feet when his hand snapped out and pushed my lap down with power, making me fall back to the cushion of the couch roughly. His hands stayed rested on my lap, his knuckles clenched to the point where I could see white.

My eyes widened as I took in his posture, stiff and tight, his expression all the same.

"This is all their fault." He spat out from between his teeth. Automatically, my eyes brows furrowed in confusion.

"What?"

"They shouldn't have fucking left you!"

Realization dawned on me and as soon as it did, my throat tightened at the mention of them. Just like it always did. I hated thinking about them, remembering them, even blaming them. I couldn't handle it. Memories would just rush back and it was all too much.

"Jas, it's ok. I'll be fine, don't-"

"Don't you dare ask me not to worry!"

I flinched back at his strong voice, memories flowing into my mind.

"I'll find you bitch, and when I do, you'll wish I'd killed you now."

His promise rang through my ears, piercing my ear drums. I could feel my heart rate speed up and my breathing hitch.

He will stop at nothing. I saw his determination, I saw the hatred deep in the depths of his beady eyes, just waiting to take my life away. I could already see it. He would drag my last breath slowly, painfully, just to torture me. I don't understand all the hatred. I'd never seen the man in my life, yet he was itching to kill me right now. I didn't get it. You don't just decided that you want to kill someone.

Who cares though? The point is, he's going to come for me. I'm a dead girl walking. I'm wanted by criminals, and the scary thing is that I can't do anything to stop it. I will live in fear until they come and take my life away.

Slowly.

Painfully.

"Avalon! Av! What's wrong?!"

My eyes snapped up to find Jason leaning on the floor in front of me, his hands resting on my shoulders. When he had gotten there, I had no idea. I was a little busy imagining the different ways my life was going to end.

"Why are you crying Av?"

My hand reached to my cheek, and just as he said, wet tears were trailing down at rocket speed.

I couldn't do this. I was going to die, but I won't take Jason down with me. I won't take anyone with me. Jason has his whole life ahead of him. He's a good man. He deserves to live.

"Let me go Jason." I said, standing up to leave and never come back.

"What? No, I-"

"Let. Me. Go."

He sensed my hostility, but he didn't let go. He just slowly stood up and looked me in the eye, his blue eyes swirling with emotion.

"If you think I'm just going to let you go through this alone then you've got another thing coming for you."

I clenched my eyes, frustration rushing through my every vein. Can't he see that I'm just trying to protect him!?

"Jason, I don't want your fucking help! I want nothing to do with you!"

That's it Avalon, go for the hurt and run method.

"You don't mean that."

"YES I DO!" I screamed right in his face. He blinked at me, hurt starting to swirl in his blue orbs, just like I wanted. God, I'm a sick person.

"Stop it Avalon. I know what you're trying to do. Stop lying."

I gave a bitter laugh, letting my tongue drip with venom as I spoke my next words.

"Lying? You think I'm lying? You're not even worth it. You're nothing to me other than my employer. Now step aside and let me leave you ass."

I yanked my hand from his, giving him a disgusted look. His mouth hung open, plain hurt present in his heart. It tore me up, but I knew it was the right thing to do.

"Don't push me away Av." He said, his voice barely over a whisper. I pushed down the lump in my throat and tried to give him my most hateful look. I tried so hard to keep my emotions at bay, just so he wouldn't see my true feelings. I struggled to keep my emotionless mask on.

"I want nothing to do with you Jason. You mean nothing to me."

He looked as if I had punched him in the gut. I wish he knew it hurt me to say it more than it hurt him to hear it. Dull pain was forming everywhere in my body. I was so alone. I hated that I had to push everyone away, it wasn't fair.

"Uh.. I.. Bye." He side stepped me and left the room, his eyes refusing to meet mine. I could tell by his monotone voice that he wanted to hide his feelings. His hurt.

My heart fell into my stomach, and at that moment, I felt truly alone. Who else? Who else will put up with me and my sick ways? No one.

I don't even have a family. I don't have friends.

All I am is a girl that causes problems for everyone.

I'm a sick excuse for a human being.

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A/N: At least I wrote something, right? I'm sorry it's been a while, and it's pretty short. I just felt like it needed to end there. I think I have everything I needed to be in this chapter soo.. I'm sorry?

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Until next time, goodbye my little turtles :)