My Protector

Worse and Worse

My heart hurt.

That's the only way I can explain it. It felt like someone stabbed it with a knife and continued to twist, leaving me with a sore numbness in my entire body.

After Jason left, I took some time to compose myself before I had to face him again. I didn't want him to see how badly I was hurting, otherwise he'll insist on helping. After 5 minutes of strangled breathing and clutching my stomach, I swallowed the lump in my throat and left the backroom. I found him organizing the CDs again, paying me no attention. I didn't say anything as I left the store either. No matter how much it hurt like a bitch, it was the right thing to do. I knew it. I just hoped that he knew it too.

I got in my car and started it up, revving it to life. I might as well get home and find a solution to this problem later. I needed a long hot shower to end this shitty day with anyways, and I sure as hell deserved it. No more stress for today.

This was supposed to be a good day, but it seems that fate is out to get me.

It was the worst day of my life.

As soon as I parked in the lot, I got out of my car and made sure to lock it before getting inside.

I didn't live in the best neighbourhood. I mean sure, I had shelter and that's really all that matters to me. Most of the people on my floor were nice, but the rest of the building consisted of druggies, prostitutes, and even some hardcore alcoholics.

Basically, it was dangerous, but it was a place I could afford and that provided me with a place I could call home. As long as I have that then I'm happy.

As soon as the old elevator made it to the third floor and the doors opened, I quickly made my way to the last apartment of the hall, room 310. My apartment.

Like I said, most of the people on my floor were fine, but one guy was one of the alcoholics I was so deathly afraid of. He lived on the other side of the hall, but whenever he'd see or hear me, he'd come out just to harrass me and shout suggestive comments at me.

He scared me shitless, and I did everything in my power to avoid this crazy 40 year old man.

As soon as I was in my apartment with my door closed and locked, I breathed out a sigh of relief.

No creepy man today.

I glanced around the small space, feeling comforted by it's familiarity. I had all the necessities I needed. Nothing more, nothing less.

A small sofa in the small living room with a small TV set up accross it. I had a couple of things here and there, like books and decor from my parents' house, but nothing major or over the top.

To the left was a small entrance to the kitchen, that had all of it's kitchen stuff. To the right is a small hallway that had two doors. one to my bedroom, and one to the bathroom. It was a small apartment, but I was only one person so it didn't matter.

I stripped as I made my way to the bathroom, throwing my clothes to the side as I did so. By the time I was in the bathroom, I was fully unclothed and ready for a shower to wash my problems away.

I slowly lathered and rinsed every inch of my body, letting the hot water cascade down my back and give me a massage. I tried hard not to think of today's events, but I couldn't help but notice that I'd hurt lots of people today. First Aiden, a guy I had literally just met today, then Jason, the closest person to me at the moment.

I tried to convince myself I did what I had to do, but the more I repeated it the less I believed it.

I let myself stay under the water a little bit longer than usual, even though I knew the water bill would be outrageous if I took too long, but I needed it.