IMP File:
Target: Gerardo Velazquez
Location: Small farm outside Tijuana, Mexico
Description: Middle-aged male smells strongly of hay and tequila
Info:
I don't speak whatever language this guy is yappin' in but he keeps making a hand motion that makes me think the target must be a real freak
Randall, Millie and Moxxie arrive in Mexico at night.
"Alright. Seems like this one's nice and remote. Won't take us too long to-." Randall says.
But is interrupted when a goat bumps into him, knocking Randall down.
"What the f-." Randall questions.
Soon the groups are surrounded by goats, and one of them has bitten him at the tail, causing Randall to yelp.
'Uh... where the fuck are we? And what's with these little runts?" Randall questions.
"I want to say these are earth goats," Moxxie answers.
"I don't care who or what they are, they are in..." Randall angrily says and picks up one of the goats, "My. Way!" and kicks the goat away.
He soon kicks more that causes them to hit the hay barn, the barn and the house. This alerts the man inside the house, who goes outside to see.
The man, who is their target Gerardo, the one who rushes out.
He looks around, "Que está pasando!?" (What's going on?!) "Que carajo!?" (What the Hell?!)
Gerardo sees Randall, Moxxie, and Millie killing his goats. Well, mainly Randall and Millie. Moxxie is trying to swat the goat off of them.
"Nice! Easy, easy goats! Easy!" Moxxie says.
"El Chupacabras!" Gerado cries out, and puts on his hat.
Gerardo then grabs his rifle and fires at them. Randall appears from under the goat pile, wearing one of them like a costume.
"Shit! Scatter!" Randall cries out.
Gerardo fires at them, as I.M.P. escape. Millie has a goat right in her mouth, while Moxxie is looking a little worse for wear. Randall jumps on a goat to escape while shooting at the man, while the goat struggles to move due to Randall trying to ride it like a horse and a goat IS NOT a horse... Crazy, I know.
"Run, you stretched asshole!" Randall shouts.
The goat collapses under Randall's weight.
"Dammit!" Randall cries out, and gets hit by a thrown sandal, "Augh!"
Randall turns to see Gerado's wife, Mrs. Velaquez.
She cries out, "Pendejo que te voy a arrancar la cabeza-" (You IDIOT, I'm gonna tear your fucking head off-) as she takes off her other sandal, "la Chupacabra de mierda esta..." (piece of shit Chupacabra...)
And hurls it in Randall's direction, hitting him square in the head with it.
"Ay caramba, he brought the big guns. Come on gang, we lost the element of surprise, let's just get 'em tomorrow," Randall says.
Randall opens the portal with the Asmodean Crystal.
"You got it, sir," Moxxie says, swaying in place because of the beating he took, "Wooooah- let's go, Millie!" and helps Millie through the portal
While Millie pulls Moxxie through. Randall tries to run away but trips over another goat. Randall fires his gun wildly, hitting a truck and causing the outhouse to blow up.
YOU ARE READING
The Human Hearted Imp Shorts
FanfictionJoin Blitz along with his friends and family on small adventures in Hell and Earth with many different characters. Including killing assignments in the human world, and fun and dangerous adventures.
