Fallen

Going Under

Frank's P.O.V.

I sat on Gerard's brown leather couch, watching the rain fall outside, while I waited for him to return from the kitchen. Gerard's dimly-lit living room had a nice home-feeling to it.

It was very generous of him to let me inside his apartment, and out of the pouring rain. I still had absolutely no idea where I was going to stay once the rain had stopped. Soon enough, Gerard returned from the kitchen with two steaming cups of coffee. He handed me one, and sat down next to me.

"So, tell me a bit about yourself, Frank." Gerard asked, sipping his coffee.

"Well, my parents kicked me out a long time ago, so I moved in with my girlfriend. But then she kicked me out yesterday." I explained, hoping he wouldn't ask me why I was booted from every place I called home.

"I'm sorry to hear that, but why did they kick you out?" Gerard asked. He had to say that, didn't he? 

"I really don't know if I could tell you..." I replied.

"Of course you can. " Gerard said, with a grin. 

"I told them I was...gay." I said, expecting him to be shocked. But instead, his eyes seemed to faintly light up, while he put his arm around me.

He was definetly the nicest person I had ever met. But I had the strange feeling he had a soft spot for me...as if he liked me...

Just then, Gerard's cell phone started to ring, as he quickly grabbed it out of his pocket. 

"Sorry, I really have to answer this call. You can look around if you want." 

He said, while he answered the phone, and walked into the kitchen.

I decided to have a look around the apartment. I walked through the small hallway that had many paintings of dark, moon-lit landscapes on the walls. There were two doors on either side of the hallway; one door open, and one shut. I walked through the open door, and into some sort of guest room. Inside the room, there was a small bed with a white bedside table next to it, wooden bookshelves full of books, and a window that looked out into the city.

I turned around and faced the closed door. Its probably a good idea not to go in there...but then again, maybe I should. I don't know why, but I felt that I had to open that door...

I turned the handle, and pushed the door open. I was surprised at what I found in there. 

The room was very dark, and I could barely see anything. But the thing that I did see was a Maplewood dresser with two burning candles on it, the only source of light. I got closer to the dresser, and saw small pieces of paper with words scribbled on them.

And then it hit me. In the middle of the dresser was a bloody razor blade...

I didn't dare touch it. Was it Gerard's?

A million thoughts buzzed through my head at once. My eyes wandered back over to the pieces of paper. What were they? I picked one up and read it in the dim light. 

"I dream in darkness, I sleep to die.

Erase this silence.

Erase my life. 

My burning ashes blacken the day,

A world of nothingness.

Blow me away." 

What was this? Everything seemed to get stranger by the minute. I hesitantly picked another one up and read it. 

"Forget this life.

My wounds cry for the grave,

My soul cries for peace.

Here in the darkness, I know myself.

I'm not turning back now.

This is my salvation.

This is my freedom.

This is my suicide."

I repeated the sentences over and over again in my head. Why would Gerard write these? Did he really want to kill himself? What was upsetting him so much? Before I could get deeper in thought, I decided to get the hell out of this room.

I walked back into the living room, and sat on the couch. From here, I couldn't help but overhear Gerard's phone conversation...

"I'll call you later, this is a bad time to talk about this....Yes, he's at my apartment.....no I haven't, yet.....but I've never killed anyone before, know what I mean?......fine, bye."

I felt sick when I realized I'm the only other person in his apartment....was Gerard going to kill me? 

"Frank." I heard Gerard call from the kitchen as I heard him walking into the living room. Is this going to be how I die?