my best friend's sister | b.e.

t h r e e

- K A I -

The infuriation Billie brought me was odd.

Something about it feels so strange to me. I've never quite been able to put my finger on it.

Sure, I'm still pissed that she slept with my ex girlfriend, Jenna, but why did she do it? Was it just to irk me? To make me permanently mad at her?

Trust me, I've tried to see through things between us, but she can't seem to ever let things go and has never really explained why.

I didn't think the things I did would be such a big deal to her, but they were. It was like the biggest betrayal I could've ever done.

Q, her ex boyfriend was my good friend before they were together and after they were together. Her being so upset about our friendship was odd to me.

I get why she'd be mad about me kissing her ex girlfriend, but what's so bad about Q that made her hate me for being friends with him?

I never understood her point of view and I don't think I ever will. Billie is quite literally impossible to understand no matter how hard I try.

I've felt like the loneliest girl in the world my entire life. I grew up severely unpopular, an only child with little friends, and just utterly alone all the time.

I've always taken what I can get when it comes to friends.

Q and I are no longer friends after he confessed his feelings for me. That, I couldn't do to Billie because it would hurt her too much and I know she was really upset about their breakup.

Plus, I'm not even into guys.

When it came down to kissing her ex girlfriend, I got incredibly drunk and made out with her because I finally felt a new confidence in my body. After years of feeling like I was nothing, I felt like something.

Finneas and Claudia helped me with my confidence so much. I finally feel comfortable in my own skin.

Finn always told me "You can never love anyone else till you love yourself" and that always stuck with me.

I couldn't find love for anyone else till I found it for myself.

After I gained my newfound confidence, Billie seemed to hate me even more. It's like she didn't want me to ever be happy.

She still doesn't.

To this day, Billie has never been happy for me for anything. I don't think she ever will be.

She didn't bother coming to my high school and college graduations, she never congratulated me on a new job, she never said anything nice about me getting in relationships, and she never cared for anything that made me happy.

To her, I deserved nothing but to be miserable.

She still thinks this way.

"What are you thinking about?"

I jump from the sudden voice behind me and see Claudia with a curious look on her face.

"Nothing." I answer.

"That's not true." She rolls her eyes. "Just thinking about the past, I guess." I sigh. "Like what?" She questions. "I don't know, I just.. I don't understand how me and Billie got here. She's hated me from the beginning and then I just hated her after? I don't get it." I shrug my shoulders as I speak.