close enough, lynn loud

10, is it a sin?

Lynn Loud Jr. was playing a game of beer pong, looking like she was having the time of her life. When she shoots a ball into the cups on the other side of the table, she screams in victory. She gives a high five to her beer pong partner, who is none other than the home owner himself—Mike Owens.

When the losers sigh in defeat, Owens sends Lynn a flirtatious grin, and Lynn responds with a loud laugh. Lynn and Owens relish in their win, arm in arm, as if they were best buddies.

She's always like that when she wins, so quick to hold onto those around her. You can't help your eye from twitching.

You take a step back, looking away. Even when you leave and her face is no longer in sight, her laugh haunts your head.

The trip you make to head inside the house is quick. Spotting the kitchen with multiple bottles scattered on the kitchen island, you grab yourself a cup of punch and pour whatever closest alcohol was in reach, downing it quick.

Someone stops you. "Woah, easy."

It was Kiley.

The burn in your throat hurts after you swallow. When you turn to look at Kiley, she's wearing a halter top and jeans, showing off her arms and physique. It makes you gulp.

"That's strong, isn't it? Let's get you some water," she says, concerned.

You watch as she rounds the kitchen to grab a cup and fill it up with water, adding ice from the fridge's ice dispenser, and finally hands it to you.

She grabs two cans of Sprite from a cooler on the floor in one hand and offers her empty right hand out to you. "Come on."

You don't know why you do it, but you grab it. Was it in the heat of the moment? Or were you doing it for a different reason?

As you hold her hand and let her lead you through the house as though it were her own, it feels like you're betraying all your friends' warnings. There's an exhilarating sense of alarm that builds up inside of you. You wonder if every girl that blindly follows Kiley around feels the same way.

She leads you upstairs, hopping over the people making out and sitting in the way. The two of you pass by a couple more rooms until you end up in what looks like a guys room. Football posters littered the walls, and the bed was unmade. Is this Owens room?

You think this is the destination until Kiley looks back at you with a smile laying on her face. She tilts her head towards the only window in the room. "We're going to the roof, you still down?"

You look over to where she was gesturing with her head and see a window that leads to the roof. It takes a moment for you to reply, and she's patient as she waits.

All you give her is a nod, and before you know it, the two of you were on the roof. It's tilted, and you're careful not to fall. Luckily, there were ridges that made it easy for your shoes to grip on.

When the two of you sit down at a spot where it's flat enough and has no risk of slipping, she hands you the other can of Sprite she grabbed from the cooler downstairs.

The view from up here was breathtaking. It overlooks the whole neighborhood, and with it being so close to the sea, you could see where the horizon started.

The overview of the party from below was interesting to see after having the point of view of being down there. You could see the true size of the pool from this high, and you could also spy on everyone with the advantage of them not spotting you.

Fortunately, you couldn't see or hear the game of beer pong happening directly below. Your awe for the view dies down quick as the memory makes its way to your head.

As if Kiley can feel your mood sour, you hear her say something unintelligible. You face her and raise your brows to indicate you didn't hear.

She clears her throat. "I didn't expect you to take my hand earlier," she repeats.

"Oh."

"I didn't expect you to agree coming up here either. I'm glad." She looks at you with that stupid smile on her face.

You hate that she looks genuine when she says it when you think back to how many girls she's probably had on this roof alone.

You ignore her, asking something else. "How do you know Owens' house so well? Was it not his room we just came out of?"

"Yeah, it was," she laughs.

"I didn't know the two of you were close."

"We're not. His dad and my mom are cousins, I think?" Kiley explains, taking a sip from her can of Sprite.

"Ahh," you reply.

Kiley looks at you for a few seconds, when you don't say anything, she lets out a loud laugh.

She's still laughing to herself like you said something hilarious. You glance at her to find the reason for her amusement. "What?"

"Ahh," Kiley mocks, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"What? It's a phrase used to indicate understanding," you explain, and it makes her laugh harder. "Stop making fun of me."

When you say that, her laughter finally dies down.

"I'm not, you're just cute." She looks at you, placing down her can of sprite.

Just when you think the two of you were having a friendly conversation, she breaks it by saying something like that.

You shake your head at her.

"What? I can't find you cute?"

"You know you won't get me with words of flattery like that." You take a sip of your can as you look up at the sky. It was dark now compared to the orange sky you arrived at earlier.

"Words of flattery?" She repeats what you said and laughs again. It's a hearty and sweet laugh, almost like honey. She sure does laugh a lot.

When her laughter dies down, she speaks up. "I'm serious, (Y/N). I... genuinely find you interesting." She looks down at the party happening downstairs. "Can you fault someone for finding that cute?"

You're speechless but recover quickly. When you follow her gaze down to the party below, they didn't seem to be mellowing out sooner or later. Compared to up here, where the music toned down and where the air was starting to get colder in comparison to the warmth you felt inside the house. It felt more intimate.

Your eyes drop down to her lips when she takes another sip from her can, but you don't feel anything. Not how you feel when you look at Lynn. Nothing.

That comforts you. It makes you feel like you're not committing such a sin, sitting with her alone up here, like having a friendly conversation with Kiley Kennedy wasn't going to escalate to anything more.

You smile to yourself. You were grateful, in a way, that she took you up here. You didn't know if you could take it if you remained down there. In a home you weren't familiar with, at a party where you went to by yourself. You wonder how much alcohol you would've consumed by now if she didn't stop you earlier. Sitting up here, having company, and a nice view—it was grounding.

"What you smiling for, (Y/N)? You falling already?" Kiley says from beside you, and it makes you roll your eyes.

"Don't be so full of yourself, Kiley, it's not a good look." You turn to her and eye her down.

She raises a brow at that. "Roger that, ma'am," she salutes, and you laugh.

You feel like it's fine—fine to be having a laugh and a drink with the girl that was interested in you. With the girl your best friend told you to stay away from. You think it's okay, because if Lynn was with Owens, where would that leave you?

You start to think it's unhealthy the way you attach yourself to Lynn. Like she's your lifeline, like you can't function if you were without her.

As you look back at Kiley sipping on her drink, you search in your stomach, your heart, and your body for butterflies—for anything.

You come up empty-handed.

This is what you should feel for your best friend, but it's not. It's not how you feel when you look at Lynn, and you fear it'll never change.

You sigh, taking a sip of your own sprite.

"Hey, (Y/N)," Kiley calls out.

"Yeah?"