Decepticon's Blue Idiot (Transformers x Red vs Blue)

Chapter 1: Caboose and the Cons

—Nemesis, The Bridge—

Starscream is many things: a coward, a traitor, a sycophant—but above all, he's an opportunist. He's fiercely convinced that he's Megatron's rightful true heir, his successor, yet he can't ignore the whispers of doubt from other Decepticons about his abilities. His history is littered with failures, from Skyquake to Energon Harvester, each misstep a stumbling block on his path to proving himself.

But beneath that bravado, Starscream has an eye for opportunity—both literally and figuratively. Enter the Blue Triple-Changer Vehicon.

"Caboose..." Starscream fixated on the vibrant figure before him, "How is the Energon extraction coming along?"

"Oh! It went very well! We got some pretty crystals from the rocks, thanks to Steve and my other new friends helping!" Caboose replied, his voice sparkling with excitement.

"And how many of these lovely crystals did you manage to carry?" Starscream pressed, a hint of impatience sneaking into his tone.

"Um..." Caboose pondered, shrugging his shoulders in a way that suggested he was more interested in the crystals' beauty than their quantity. "I'm not sure how many. But they're really pretty!"

Starscream's gaze shifted to the nearby Vehicon, silently urging him to spill the details on their haul.

"Caboose helped to carry large chunks of energon, Lord Starscream," the Vehicon reported, "Thanks to his strength, we successfully extracted a significant amount of energon for today's operations."

Caboose, always eager and animated, piped up, "Yeah, the giant crystals are pretty!" He gazed at the shimmering formations, their surfaces catching the dim light of the bridge. "I wonder why we needed so many of these crystals. Gasp! Are we going to dress up? Is that why we have so many crystals?"

Starscream and the other Vehicons exchanged bewildered glances, their expressions flat and unamused as they processed Caboose's question.

"Caboose, we mine energon for energy and resources!" Starscream explained, his voice laced with exasperation. "We don't use it as a luxury item! We convert the energon crystals into a liquid form for consumption. Do you understand?"

Caboose blinked, his face a mix of confusion and determination. "...I don't know what you said, but I am going to nod and say yes..."

The silence stretched awkwardly, punctuated only by the faint hum of machinery around them.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Yes!" Caboose stated.

With a resigned facepalm, Starscream sighed deeply. It was becoming increasingly clear that grasping these concepts was beyond Caboose's capabilities. With the cognitive abilities of a sparkling, getting angry would be futile. Instead, Starscream decided to simplify the explanation; perhaps that would yield better results.

He mentally chastised himself for not doing so in the first place.

"Alright, let me clarify: we crush these beautiful crystals and turn them into orange juice," Starscream said, emphasizing each word as though he were teaching a youngling.

"Ohhh! Why didn't you say so?! That sounds awesome!" Caboose exclaimed, his eyes lighting up with excitement. "I always wondered why we were getting so many pretty crystals. But if we're making juice out of them, that sounds neat!... although the color isn't orange; it's blue..."

Caboose hummed thoughtfully before saying, "Gasp! Perhaps we've created Blue Juice! A new kind of orange juice!"

Starscream stared at Caboose in open-mouthed surprise but couldn't help allowing a small smile to creep across his face. "...Yes, Caboose, that is correct! We use the pretty crystals to produce blue juice!"