Decepticon's Blue Idiot (Transformers x Red vs Blue)

Chapter 3: The Artic Encounter

—Nemesis, Lab—

"Knock, knock." Starscream taunted, rapping his knuckles against Megatron's faceplate with a mocking grin. He knocked a few more times, relishing the silence. "Is anyone home?"

There was no reply from Megatron's lifeless form, which only fueled Starscream's delight—until a cheerful voice interrupted.

"Are we playing a knock, knock joke? I love those!" Caboose chirped, his enthusiasm a stark contrast to the tension in the air.

"No, Caboose." Starscream replied, exasperated by the Blue Vehicon's obliviousness. It was moments like these that made him reconsider his life choices. "That's not what I meant—"

"Knock, knock!"

"Caboose, we're not—"

"Knock, knock!"

"This is not a—"

"Knock, knock!"

"WE'RE NOT DOING A KNOCK-KNOCK JOKE!" Starscream finally snapped, his patience wearing thin.

"Okay!"

With a resigned sigh, Starscream rubbed his hand across his faceplate, trying to regain composure. He shifted his gaze back to Megatron's still figure, stepping away from the berth with a sly grin. "Seems I possess the only thing that would allow you to rise off that slab and walk again."

He strutted over, standing tall before the dormant tyrant. "My dearest Megatron." he began, pulling out a gleaming Dark Energon Shard and tossing it playfully in the air before catching it, "The only scrap left on this planet, plucked from your very spark chamber! But it cannot restore your mind!"

"Oooh~ shiny! It's a purple crystal! Does it make purple juice? Like grape juice?" Caboose blurted out with childlike wonder.

Starscream sighed again, the frustration palpable. How did he end up in such a ridiculous situation?

'Oh, how I wish I could restore any smidge of intelligence you might have lost!' Starscream thought, a hint of exasperation creeping into his tone. He reminded himself yet again that Caboose had the intellect of a Sparkling. As they stood there, he questioned Caboose's grasp of Earth products like grape juice; after all, Cybertronians don't drink that stuff!

"No, Caboose! This purple crystal is important! Thus little trinket is not to be toyed with!"

"Oh... is it a bad purple crystal?"

"Yes! A very, very bad crystal!" Starscream exclaimed, narrowing his eyes. "This is not something you should touch. Do you understand?"

"Okay."

"I'm serious."

"Okay."

With that, Starscream turned back to gaze at Megatron's motionless form and continued his monologuing. "The Decepticons need a leader, not just a mindless centerpiece!"

"And I will prove to them that I am the rightful heir to your throne! My plan is so grand—"

"Not even the legendary Megatron could have conceived it?" Knockout interrupted, a smirk playing on his lips as he lounged in the doorway.

Starscream shot a glare at Knockout, who had a knack for being annoyingly candid.

"Hello, Sockout!"

"Hi, Idiot," Knockout shot back with a bemusedly.

Starscream fumbles for a moment, collecting himself as he stutters, "That was the plan, Knockout. How long have you been lurking there?"

"Long enough to catch the part where Caboose—"