I am Sin personified.
I am one of the most amoral and psychopathic people to have ever existed.
The World I was born in could not bear me. I was too dangerous to become remarkable. I confess I am intelligent enough, with a definite degree of strength and cunning, and I possess the politeness and charm that could certainly make anyone do anything... almost.
My only hurdle: I was one in a sea of billions. I was nobody special, I did not have money and connections to make a strong impact on the world at large.
I will admit that I do not find evil for the sake of evil, enjoyable or interesting. It is bland and lacks flavor. I prefer in doing evil and accomplishing objectives that would endear me to the masses.
My train of thought runs like this:
Suppose, you are a Tenant T. I am your Lawyer. You have a Landlord L.
T is not able to pay rent because of genuine reasons. L is cruel and does not let him stay, announcing that he has to vacate the house. T has nowhere to go and is desperate. He approaches me, and tells me to help.
What is a normal person's method of helping?
Hire a lawyer. Help him out in court. Perhaps persuade the landlord.
My preferred method would be: to kill L, forge a will leaving his entire estate to T, make sure the death of L is remembered as an accident, bribe and remove witnesses (if any) and there we go.
Why? I have no moral scruples like you do. Let us see what a normal person (Z) will achieve:
a. Spend thousands on a lawyer on a case that will drag on for years.
b. Attempt to legally persuade L (impossible almost, considering L is looking for profit).
c. At the end... T could have simply stayed in Z's house, and thousands of dollars could have been saved.
And yet, I could simply keep T at my house. But look at what my supposedly psycho solution achieves:
a. An unpleasant profiteer, L, is removed from the face of the Earth.
b. T is forever indebted to me, and I can ask him for favors.
c. My self-righteousness is boosted.
d. No dragging cases for years.
e. Spending a fraction of the cost.
f. T gets the estate (which, because I can call in favors, I can potentially access).
So, much more than any solution a normal person could provide. Yet... would anyone take the maximum-profit, pragmatic solution? No. Why? Because moral scruples. Stupid moral scruples, getting in the way of efficiency... imagine choosing rusted machinery instead of well-oiled machinery because the rust was morally justifiable.
In real life though, that was how my mind worked. I am a cruel person who boosts his ego by doing good things the evil way to feel better about himself. That being said... I did not have money, so in reality I would not have been able to enact any of these solutions.
Coming back to it. Because I lacked connections and wealth, I lived an unremarkable life, becoming more and more insane by the day.
But somehow... I remained insistent about doing the good thing. Good things mean survival and getting away with anything (at least publicly). Good things mean that the people will fall on their knees to worship and adore you. Good things will win you a level of approval that once taken to a certain level makes you untouchable. Good things are a mask.
Or so I think.
Since when did I become more sentimental, though? I started genuinely caring for people. I started showing actual generosity and genuinely smiling. I was driven crazy. It seems that I had actually fallen for my own propaganda.
That did not, however, excuse the fact that most of my deeds were evil. That many of my good deeds solved problems that my misdeeds had caused in the first place. And when at the age of 21 I was hit by a car on an unremarkable neighborhood street, that was brought into question.
I was agnostic. I did not believe in a God/Gods. So when I saw myself in a white surrounding, with only a wall of text around me... I was not sure how to respond.
GREETINGS, HUMAN-277943832749830579559822313013049578795. WHILE YOU ARE UNREMARKABLE OUTSIDE... YOU ARE ONE OF THE MOST DESPICABLE SOULS I HAVE EVER SEEN. YOU HAVE GOOD IN YOU, BUT IT IS FAINT. MONSTERS LIKE YOU NEED THEIR OWN PERSONAL HELL... TO SUFFER, BUT YOU ARE AN INTERESTING CASE. LET ME SEE... THERE IS A HELL MADE SPECIFICALLY FOR YOU. ENJOY. WE WILL WATCH YOUR CAREER WITH GREAT INTEREST.
AND IN CASE YOU WONDER WHO I AM... I AM THE BANKER, THE ONE-ABOVE-ALL. I INVEST ACROSS VARIOUS TIMELINES AND REALITIES BY SEEDING LIFE BOTH GOOD AND EVIL ON THEM. THEN WHEN TIME COMES, I COLLECT MY DEBT. YOU WERE MEANT TO BE THE MOST BRUTAL YET EFFECTIVE PERSON IN HISTORY... BUT I PREMATURELY, INTENTIONALLY, WITHDREW MY INVESTMENT. THIS IS BECAUSE I HAVE FOUND A POTENTIALLY BETTER, HIGH-RISK INVESTMENT FOR YOU. DO NOT FAIL ME.
I HAVE BETTED THE EQUIVALENT OF 854132806987092242739408478674358786970914212835309487327287378908456096803472889327094869587432287480956 SOUL-DEBTS ON YOU. THE TRANSFER COST ME THIS MUCH. I HAVE EVEN CUSTOMIZED IT FOR YOU TO FIND EXTRA FUN ON THE WAY. ONCE AGAIN I TELL YOU, DO NOT FAIL ME. IF YOU DO, WHAT YOU WILL FACE WILL BE A SWEET WONDERLAND COMPARED TO WHAT I WILL RENDER UPON YOU FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY. GOOD LUCK AND HAVE FUN. OVER AND OUT.
Strange. Where was I going?
In the middle of a vehicle... I think. In the endless void of space.
So I was in some Space Odyssey, then?
Then I noticed the countless other men in the same position. Hmm. Strange. Was it... a refugee evacuation? A military recruitment? Some space fun activity?
Then I noticed the Guards.
The green uniform. And a familiar Golden Aquila on their helmets.
Well, Shit---
Wait a second.
So this was what they meant. The Banker... I see. If it was customized, I should have some advantages.
If this was Hell, I would rule it. I would not yield.
And I had found the perfect objective: the complete supremacy of Mankind across the galaxy.
(A/N:
1. The author is not a reliable narrator. Some of his arguments are not stable. Remember... this is a psychopath we are talking about. A well-intentioned psychopath but a psychopath nonetheless.
2. I hope you liked the banker.)
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A Monster in Hell: A 40K Story
Fiksi PenggemarI am an amoral person with psychopathic tendencies. I have had an inglorious life. After my death in an unremarkable neighborhood crossroad, mowed down by a car, I have been sent to suffer in the 41st Millennium. Yet in suffering comes blessing... a...