TORN

Chapter 1: Philosophy and Desire

Y/N sat in the front row of the large lecture hall, feeling both excited and nervous. It was her first day at university, and she knew she wanted to achieve more than just being a good student. She wanted to prove herself, to impress—and perhaps to be the best in her class. At 19 years old, she was determined to not only succeed in her studies but to tackle them with passion.

Today, she had managed to secure a spot in one of the most sought-after courses: Philosophy with Professor Harry Styles. She had heard about him—the charismatic professor whose courses were always fully booked.

As the room filled up, Y/N mentally prepared herself. She knew that today, she had to make an impression, even though the new environment made her feel slightly uneasy. She straightened her shoulders and focused on her notes. Even before seeing him, she could sense the quiet excitement in the room as the door opened, and Harry Styles entered the lecture hall.

He was everything she had heard—and more. With his dark brown curls falling around his face and those green eyes that instantly captured your attention, he moved through the room with effortless confidence. His style was elegant, but not overly formal: a dark shirt with the sleeves casually rolled up, as if ready to dive into a deep discussion at any moment. Harry Styles had a presence that dominated the room, and when he began to speak, everyone fell silent.

"Good morning," he said in a calm, deep voice that immediately quieted the murmurs of the students. "I'm Professor Styles, and if you've chosen this course, I hope you're ready for hard work—and deep insights." His gaze swept over the room and lingered briefly on Y/N, though not enough to draw attention. But Y/N noticed—and for a moment, her heart quickened. "Over the next few months, we'll be discussing human nature and the deepest, often unconscious, motivations that drive us."

Y/N had prepared well, but as Harry began speaking about the philosophical concepts that shape human behavior, a fire lit inside her. She listened closely, but the longer he spoke, the more she felt the need to challenge him.

As the lecture progressed, she couldn't help herself. She raised her hand.

"Professor Styles?" Her voice was clear and confident. Harry paused and looked at her, his green eyes focusing on her with a slight hint of interest.

"Yes?" he asked, and the room grew quieter.

"You mentioned earlier that human nature is primarily driven by emotions, often unconscious ones. But how do you explain the fact that we often make conscious, rational decisions that have nothing to do with our emotions? Can you really say that emotions are the strongest force at play?"

Harry smiled slightly—it wasn't a mocking smile, but one that showed he appreciated the challenge. "That's a good question. But I would argue that even the most rational decisions are often influenced by emotions we aren't immediately aware of. The way we weigh risks, how we set our priorities—that's shaped by deep emotional experiences, even if we don't recognize it."

Y/N wasn't easily satisfied. She followed up with another question. "But what about cases where people make decisions completely against their emotional desires? Where does rationality come from then? Where do you draw the line?"

Harry leaned slightly against the podium, studying her for a moment. "Rationality is often a form of self-preservation. People make decisions that seem rational in order to protect themselves from emotional pain. But deep down... it's always the emotional need that gives the initial push."

Y/N's heart beat faster. The tension between them was palpable, even though it was just an academic discussion. She knew she was challenging Harry, and he seemed to enjoy it.

The lecture continued, but Y/N couldn't take her eyes off him. The way he spoke, the way his eyes kept briefly returning to hers, made her react to him in ways she hadn't expected. She couldn't remember the last time she had been so intensely fascinated by someone—and it wasn't just his knowledge. There was something deeper, a spark beneath the surface.

As the lecture finally came to an end, students began packing up their things and leaving the room one by one. But Y/N remained seated. She knew she wanted to know more—not just about philosophy. She wanted to get to know him better.

Harry, who was gathering his notes, noticed that Y/N was still there. He approached the edge of the podium and looked at her. "Is there something else you'd like to know?" he asked, and again, there was that tone in his voice that seemed meant only for her.

"Yes," Y/N said, unable to hide the slight thrill in her own voice. "Your answer earlier made me think even more. You say emotions are at the core of our decisions, but isn't it also true that we're often driven by external expectations? Our environment, our society—don't they influence how we act, regardless of our deepest desires?"

Harry stepped closer, his eyes narrowing slightly as he considered her question. "Of course, there are external factors," he replied. "But I'd argue that even those external influences are rooted in emotional needs. The desire for approval, for belonging—those are emotional needs reinforced by society."

Now, the two of them stood even closer, and the air between them was thick with unspoken tension. This was more than just a conversation between professor and student. It was a dance of words and glances, holding them both captive.

"Perhaps we should continue this conversation in private," Harry said suddenly, his voice soft, but with a clear undertone of something more. "I think there's a lot more we could explore if you're interested."

Y/N hesitated for a moment, then felt a smile play at the corners of her lips. She knew exactly that this conversation was about more than academics. "When would you be available, Professor?"

Harry held her gaze, and for a moment, it seemed as though the world around them had stopped. "Tomorrow, after my last lecture. Five o'clock in my office."

Y/N nodded slowly, her voice too soft to say anything more. She knew that what was happening between them wasn't simple. It was complicated, forbidden—but also thrilling.

As she left the room, she could feel his eyes on her. And deep down, she knew this was just the beginning of something they wouldn't be able to ignore for much longer.