TORN

Chapter 12 (Part 2): Conflicting Desires

"Hi."

Louis froze, his heart skipping a beat. Slowly, he brought the phone back to his ear, feeling suddenly unsure of himself. "Harry?" he said, softer than he intended, almost surprised that Harry had actually answered.

"Yeah," Harry replied, his voice calm but a little strained. "What's up?"

Louis let out a nervous laugh, running a hand through his hair. "Well, look who finally decided to pick up. I didn't think you would."

"I wasn't sure if I should," Harry admitted, and there was a pause, the silence between them stretching out. Louis felt like his chest was tightening, the weight of what he wanted to say hanging heavily in the air.

"I guess I just wanted to talk," Louis said, his voice uncharacteristically shaky, trying to play it cool but failing miserably. He shot a glance at Y/N, who nodded encouragingly. "You know, about... everything."

Harry sighed on the other end of the line, and Louis could hear the tension in his voice. "Louis, I've been thinking a lot since the last time we talked. And... you were right."

Louis blinked, confusion flashing across his face. "Right about what?"

"I rushed into things," Harry said, his voice dropping. "This... part of me, I'm just starting to figure it out. And I jumped in headfirst without really knowing what I wanted. And I think... I need to take a step back."

Louis felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. He had braced himself for something like this, but it still hit harder than he expected. "A step back?" he repeated, trying to keep his voice steady. "What does that mean?"

"It means," Harry began, his words careful and deliberate, "that I think we shouldn't see each other for a while. I need time to figure things out—on my own."

Louis' stomach twisted, the words sinking in painfully. "So... what, you're just going to disappear? Just like that?" His voice cracked despite himself, a sharp edge creeping in.

"I'm not disappearing," Harry said quietly. "But I need space to explore, Louis. I need to understand who I am, and I can't do that if I'm—"

"If you're with me," Louis finished for him, bitterness seeping into his tone. He felt the sting of rejection, sharper than he'd expected.

"That's not what I meant," Harry said quickly, but Louis could hear the hesitation in his voice. "It's just... I think I need to see what else is out there."

Louis could feel the jealousy boiling up inside him. "What, like other guys?" His tone was sharp, angry. "You're gonna go out and meet other men while you 'figure things out'?"

Harry hesitated, and when he spoke again, his voice was soft but firm. "Maybe, yeah. I don't know, Louis. I just need this time to understand myself."

Louis' free hand balled into a fist on the table. The idea of Harry with anyone else made his blood boil. His Harry, his Hazza, with someone else? It twisted his insides. "So what, this was all just a stepping stone for you? Just a fucking experiment?"

"It wasn't like that, Louis. It's not that simple."

"No?" Louis spat back, his frustration bubbling over. "Then tell me, what is it? You're gonna run off and explore while I sit here waiting for you until whenever you feel like it?"

Y/N winced, watching the conversation unfold with a mix of concern and sympathy. She reached out and gently placed a hand on Louis' arm, trying to calm him.

Harry's voice came through the phone, calm but filled with an underlying sadness. "I don't expect you to wait for me, Louis. That's not what I'm asking. I just need to do this for myself."