Between Friendship and Hearts

The Distance Between Us

The days following the festival felt different, as if an unspoken distance had crept in between Hanni and you. It wasn't that the two of you were spending less time together—if anything, you and Hanni still saw each other daily, walking to classes, studying in the library, or grabbing coffee at the campus café. But there was a subtle shift, an awkwardness that hadn't been there before.

Hanni noticed it in the little things. She'd catch herself hesitating before texting YOU, or find herself overthinking simple interactions. She hated feeling this way, like she had to act a certain way to keep things from becoming uncomfortable. But after that night at the festival, she couldn't shake the feeling that she was holding on to something that was slipping away.

You, on the other hand, didn't seem to notice the shift—at least not in the same way. You were as bubbly and friendly as ever, talking about classes, making plans for the weekend, and even mentioning Nayeon more often. Every time her name came up, Hanni felt a tightening in her chest, like she was being edged out of a picture she wasn't even sure she belonged in.

One afternoon, while the two of you were sitting in their usual spot at the campus café, you leaned in to Hanni. "So, guess what? Nayeon asked if I wanted to go and talk to her and clarify things out. You should totally come with us!"

The suggestion hit Hanni like a punch to the gut, though she did her best to hide it. "Oh, um, I'm not sure," she replied, keeping her tone light. "I might have to catch up on some studying."

"Studying?" You scoffed, rolling your eyes. "It's only one night. You can't seriously be planning to stay in and read all weekend."

"It's not just that," Hanni said, fumbling for an excuse. "I just... I don't want to be a third wheel."

You frowned. "What are you talking about? You wouldn't be a third wheel. She just wanted to clarify things out ." You said it casually, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. But Hanni felt a flicker of relief—followed by a rush of guilt.

"Well, if you put it that way..." Hanni trailed off, not entirely committing. She didn't know if she could handle watching you and Nayeon together, even if it was just as friends that has no past.

"Come on, I promise to treat you food after!" You insisted. "Besides, we haven't done something all together since the festival." She smiled, weakly, the pain can be seen in her eyes but you can't see it.

What should I do? I care for you

She said in her mind, lost words.

Hanni managed a weak smile. "Okay, okay, I'll think about it."

As the week wore on, Hanni found herself drifting in and out of her own thoughts more often than usual. Every time she was around you, she couldn't help but wonder how much longer she could keep her feelings hidden. There was a constant push-and-pull inside her—the fear of losing you if she confessed and the agony of keeping everything bottled up.

On Friday evening, Hanni found herself alone in the library, surrounded by piles of books she wasn't actually reading. The quiet was suffocating, and her thoughts kept circling back to the same question: Was it better to stay silent and keep things the same, or should she take the risk and tell you how she felt?

The door to the library creaked open, and you slipped inside, her eyes brightening when she spotted Hanni. "Hey! I thought I'd find you here," you said, pulling up a chair beside her. "I've been looking for you."

Hanni's heart lifted at the sight of Luna, though the familiar ache lingered. "Oh, hey," she replied, pushing aside the book she hadn't been reading. "What's up?"

"I was just wondering if you'd made up your mind about the plan?? You know..." you said, tilting your head slightly. "It's tomorrow night, you know. Nayeon's already gotten the venue ready, but we could still get one more if you're coming."

Hanni was contemplating, she wants to go with you as she's curious of what clarifications Nayeon wanted.

But the question is, can she hold the pain once she sees Nayeon and you together?

The mention of Nayeon's name was like a jolt back to reality. Hanni had almost forgotten about the invitation, lost as she'd been in her own thoughts. "I... I don't know," she said hesitantly. "I'm not sure if it's a good idea."

Your expression softened, concern creeping into your voice. "Hanni, you've been acting kind of weird lately. Is something going on? You know you can talk to me, right?"

She stays silent

This is new for you, a new Hanni to be exact. It's HANNI but a sad one, HANNI that's heavy, HANNI that's unsolvable.

The sincerity in your voice made it even harder for Hanni to maintain her composure. Her chest tightened as she weighed her options—she could continue hiding how she felt, or she could take the leap and finally say what had been eating away at her for so long. But as she looked into your eyes, she felt the familiar fear resurface. What if telling the truth changed everything? What if she lost you?

"I'm fine," Hanni lied, forcing a smile. "Just... tired, I guess. It's nothing." She smiled, weakly, and sad. For your view it's a honest smile but for Hanni it's pain.

You didn't look entirely convinced but chose not to push further. Instead, you gave Hanni a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "Well, if you change your mind about it, just let me know, okay?"

She smiled again, false smile.

"Yeah, I will," Hanni replied, her voice quieter than she intended.

As you left, the library seemed to close in around Hanni, the silence pressing down on her more heavily than before. She leaned back in her chair, staring up at the ceiling and wondering when things had become so complicated. It used to be so easy to be around you, so effortless to be close. But now every moment seemed like a balancing act, with her heart hanging in the balance.

That night, Hanni lay awake in her dorm room, staring at the ceiling. She wanted so badly to reach out to you, to tell her everything. But she kept coming back to the same thought: what if she was wrong? What if you don't feel the same way? The fear of losing her best friend was too much to bear.

It's her mind, these thoughts lingers in her mind like a hurricane. It's twirling like an ice cream on a cone every single question is about you now it's hunting her. It's giving her pain and eventually letting her build a wall towards you.

She thought "what if I'll just build a wall around us and isolate myself, would I ever let you go?"