War In Shades Of Pink

Chapter 4 - A Ghost From The Past

NOTES: I don't own the characters. They're all from the "Harry Potter" series. I just try to fill in the gaps with my own imagination.

English is not my first language, so I apologize for any error or mistake.


The Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix was quiet that night. After Sirius's death, the atmosphere was heavy, steeped in grief and frustration. Tonks's heart, already torn apart by the battle, felt as though it sank even deeper each time she entered the old Black mansion. The dark walls of Grimmauld Place served as a reminder of her failure, the death of her cousin, and the recent scars that had yet to heal.

However, Tonks was no longer the same since her departure from St. Mungo's. She had spent weeks in a coma. Now, while she had physically recovered, emotionally she was utterly shattered. Throughout that time, one face had lingered in her mind, accompanied by a gentle voice, sorrowful words, and stories she had never meant to hear: Remus Lupin.

She knew he had come every night, but on that particular evening, he had confessed something that changed everything. Now, back at the Headquarters after so many lonely nights, Tonks felt the weight of unspoken words between them. Yet, she was unsure if she was ready to confront Remus—not after what she had overheard.

That night, the Order had gathered to discuss upcoming missions. Everyone was aware that Tonks blamed herself for Sirius's death. She had nearly dealt with Bellatrix just before she murdered her cousin, and that guilt gnawed at her spirit. The conversation around the table grew tense when Sirius's name was mentioned. Tonks paled, biting her lip and averting her gaze.

Molly Weasley noticed her distress and attempted to comfort her.

"Tonks, dear, you did the best you could. It was not your fault."

Tonks shook her head, her eyes glistening with tears.

"I should have done more. I should have been faster..."

Before her words could crumble into a torrent of emotions, Remus, seated in a corner of the room, spoke calmly yet firmly.

"Tonks, we cannot blame ourselves for the actions of others. Sirius made his choice, just as you made yours. You did what you could, and that is more than many would manage."

Tears brimmed in Tonks's eyes at Remus's words. His calm and sensible tone swept through the room like a gentle breeze. A heavy silence fell, and Molly, Arthur, and the other members of the Order, recognising that Remus had managed to reach her, began to discreetly withdraw. They understood that this conversation needed to be private.

Once they were alone, the silence between them felt as thick as the shadows enveloping them. Tonks, feeling adrift, took a deep breath and poured out her heart, in tears, as she had never done before.

"Remus, I... I can't stop thinking. I was there, so close, fighting Bellatrix, and while I was trying to survive, she killed Sirius. He was my family, and I failed him."

Lupin looked at her, profound sadness etched in his expression. He knew all too well what it felt like to be unable to save someone.

"No one failed, Tonks. War... war takes everything it can from us without giving us time to think. You cannot carry that guilt; it is not yours to bear."

"But I should have been quicker!" she insisted, her voice breaking. "He died because of me!"

Remus slowly rose and moved closer.

"He did not die because of you. Sirius knew what he was getting into. He went to fight because it was part of who he was. Do not blame yourself for that." He placed a hand on her shoulder, imparting a calm that only he seemed able to evoke.