Venting

So um. I'm back?

I was obviously young and dumb when I wrote this. I'm not changing much, but I am updating it because I have grown and realised that the things I was doing weren't making things better, and that my online friends on here deserve better. I also deleted chapters that included topics that were too sensitive for me to air out in front of the entire platform.

Originally, this book was meant to be for me and my online friends and followers only, which is why I felt comfortable enough to air those things out. As I never meant for it to be taken in a bad way, more as a way of supporting my friends. BUT FOR SOME REASON THIS BOOK IS STILL RANKING ON THE VENTING AND MYART HASHTAGS?? Meaning that for some reason, that I may never know of, you guys read this book, and cared enough to comment on it. Thank you? It was never meant for this, it was just an outlet for me as I was going through a tough time but honestly, seeing all of you guys show this much support for it even now is heartwarming.

On the mental well-being front, I am in fact actually doing better. Though I did go through my first major heartbreak this year, and lots of friendships breakups, one particularly sour one, which was last year. I am healing and have found people who can help me without me having to feel like I'm burdening them with my problems or causing them trauma :)

I still have issues. School is a lot more tough now, keeping up appearances and grades is a balancing act. And I'm still working out the kinks in my relationships, trying not to misread people and trying not to think of my love as being too much (I  say this while I literally cried yesterday for 3 hours straight because insta kept attacking me with reels). My parents are doing a lot better. Better in their personal life, happier in their marriage. Maybe Corona was driving all of us insane because we were always stuck together.

Currently. I guess I still am a hopeless romantic? I'm not currently looking for anyone though obviously, I like the feeling of love and being in love and being loved but I need a break from situationships.

I cried to Chappel Roan and Billie Eilish songs for 6 months (or maybe even more) straight because of the situationship and heartbreak!

I resonate with this quote :D
"You cannot make everyone think and feel as deeply as you do. This is your tragedy, because you understand them, but they don't understand you." – Daniel Saint

And um. I got into a discord server about this Webtoon called Our Walk Home, and I write fics for it and I make fanart for it and it's great. My handle on ao3 is Aww_lovely10 if you want to know. This discord server helps me a lot with my problems. At the same time, I don't feel like I'm traumatizing them with my issues, so it's a win win :) (yes this is Momo from the discord.)

When I created this Wattpad account. I have to be honest, I was way too young. Like I was legal, but I shouldn't have got it because I was way too vulnerable and way too empathetic.

Let. Me. Be. Clear. It wasn't the fault of my online friends. They had another set of issues that they kept dealing with. Honestly all of them just wanted to find peace. I was the one who reached out to them and asked them if they were okay, which led to venting, which led to me learning the worst parts of the world. I was too young, but honestly those are the age restrictions faults and no one else's.

I still love all of you. I come back to speak to you guys. The moments we shared are still precious to me. I just wish that things could have been different. And I hope all of you are at peace, and healthy and happy and safe.

I'm going to be on Wattpad again for maybe about a week, feel free to ask me things before I leave again, thank you and goodbye for now :)