Chapter 5: So Full of Sorrow

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Oreth POV

I stared down at the ground. It seemed to spin before my bleary eyes. I could cry no more tears; it felt as if I could not breathe.

I could not breathe. Each time the mace fell, I wanted to scream, but I could not. The man I loved was in front of me, being tortured, murdered. I could see his mouth opening and closing, struggling to take in air.

I clenched my hands on the railing, fingers turning white as they wrapped around the wood.

"We are evenly matched now, little elfling," he cackled as another orc scrabbled to pick up the Stone. But I did not care about the Stone any more. I cared about Alden, and about myself.

Blood rushed to my head, thundering like a drum in my ears and I closed my eyes – trying to block the memories out.

Bereft of their leader, the army attacked, cackling and shrieking as they ran. My friends stood together, slaying as many as they could. The sun was rising. But I saw none of this, I lay crouched by Alden's side, tears filling my eyes.

His face drifted before my closed lids, a wavering arm reaching out to me, calling my name.

He made one final, agonizing effort to lift his head and look me in the eyes. I read the plea in their fading light. And I kissed him softly, our blood and our tears mixing. I pressed our hands together, and when he looked at me one last time I smiled, gently.

"Sevig i velethen"

And then at last the tears came. Fat drops of salt water rolling down my face and falling, falling through the air down to the far off ground. I reached up a hand, shaking as the sobs wracked through my slender body. Memories rushed through my head, crowding my mind and throwing away all rational thought. I sunk to the floor, hands to my chest.

He is dead he is dead heisdead.

-

"My lady?"

The voice came out of nowhere, shaking me out of a fitful sleep. I sat up, dusting off my dress and brushing fly away hair behind my pointed ears.

"I...the Lady Galadriel wishes me to tell you tha-"

"I can tell her myself, Mistil."

I looked up in shock at the quiet voice and was astounded to see Galadriel herself standing in the doorway of my room. Her bare feet padded soundlessly towards me, long white gown draped over her ankles. Swinging my legs over the bed I inclined my head towards her and tried to look composed. The beautiful elf queen didn't look fooled as she furrowed her brow and caught me with her piercing eyes. Trapped beneath her gaze I stared down at my clasped hands.

After a nod to Mistil, Galadriel arranged herself on a high backed chair and spoke.

"Your companions have left,"

My mouth dropped open, though my gaze remained down.

"They go to fight at the Hornburg, where the people of Rohan wage a long and hard battle against the forces of evil. The eagles have taken them to a few miles away from the battleground. Then they will ride with the remaining Rohirrim into the fray to help defend Helms Deep. This is perhaps one of the most important battles of these dark times."

"And what of I?" I said, my voice cracking from disuse.

"This is why I am here," She leant forwards, hair falling in front of those all-knowing eyes as she placed a hand on my high shoulder. "I offer you a choice, Oreth. To stay...or to go."

My heart ached, a soft pang in my chest at the prospect of leaving. And not just leaving Lothlorien, leaving Arda, leaving the mortal world. Forever. Joining the growing procession of elves who walked slowly, slowly down and out, away from their homes to never return. Feeling the soft earth beneath my feet for the last time, touching the crinkled bark of the withered trees, hearing the birdsong beneath the branches and the bustling chatter of a busy city. Never to return. To sail away to a different land, isolated in the midst of the sea, no contact with Middle Earth or with Valinor.

Despite these doubts I knew in my heart that I wanted to follow the winding passage down to the Grey Havens. The call of the sea roared strong in my ears, willing me to join it and leave behind all the woes and losses on the shore. I could see it in my mind, blue waves breaking against the white sand, crashing into my bare feet. Flowers lined the sand, controlled beauty. In the distance a harpist played; the lilting strings coupled with a quiet, peaceful song that soared over the waves, mingling with the crying of a gull. My hair blew back from my face, unbound from the neat braids that held it perfectly in place and I tasted salt on my tongue.

And I could go there, I could be at peace in the Undying Lands.

It was only when I felt Galadriel's hand on my forehead that I opened my eyes and realised I was crying.

"You wish to go." It was not a question.

I met her eyes, thinking once again of the sea, the sand and the song.

But the salt was tears, the singing from the elves outside and the waves the wind in the trees. A mere figment of my imagination.

I swallowed. "I cannot. He died for the quest, for Middle Earth...for me. And I cannot shun that. No, my Lady. As much as I wish I could leave behind the world and sail West, I cannot take that path, at least not yet. I must do something, even if that something is just to sit here and wait."

Her eyes softened. "You are wise, Oreth. But do not let your grief consume you or it will never let you go."

She rose from the seat. "Farewell, for now."

I nodded back, pressing a hand to my chest as she turned away. Only then did I see what she had left behind. A paintbrush, powdered paint and a roll of canvas. I picked up the paintbrush, rolling it in my fingers. It fitted perfectly to the shape of my hand. The paints were subtle, natural shades of blues and whites, browns and greys. An easel stood in the corner of the room. I had not noticed it before, too wrapped up in my sorrow to see anything. I unrolled the canvas and slid it into position.

And then I began to paint.


A/N: I'm off on holiday today with probably no wi-fi and no laptop so I won't be updating for over a week. Sorry! Make sure to keep commenting and voting!

Also please check out my Pinterest board for the fic: https://uk.pinterest.com/feanorian/the-second-fellowship-fanfiction/ 

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