The Doctor's Dilemma

Chapter 15: Pressure Points

The tension between them grew heavier in the days following Dr. Patel's quiet observation. Emma found herself watching her every move around Nathan, trying not to linger too long in the same room or exchange too many words where others might notice. Despite Nathan's reassurances, there was a constant knot of anxiety in her chest, a gnawing worry that someone else would start asking questions, or worse—spread rumors.

It didn't help that the hospital's environment seemed more charged than ever. The ER had been chaotic for days, a constant influx of trauma cases and emergencies that left everyone on edge. Emma felt the pressure mounting, both from the workload and the ever-present strain of hiding her relationship with Nathan.

One particularly grueling shift had Emma bouncing from one critical patient to another without a break. By the time she had a moment to breathe, her legs were aching, her scrubs were stained, and she hadn't had so much as a sip of water in hours.

She sat in the break room for a few minutes, her head in her hands, trying to shake off the exhaustion. Her mind wandered to Nathan, who she hadn't seen all shift. Just the thought of him calmed her, and she considered sending him a quick text to check in when the door to the break room opened.

Nathan walked in, looking as worn out as she felt. His expression softened when he saw her sitting there, though it was clear the weight of the day was weighing on him too. They were alone, at least for now, but even in this moment, they couldn't let their guard down too much.

"You look how I feel," he said, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and tossing it to her.

Emma caught it with a tired smile. "It's been nonstop. How's your end?"

"Same," he replied, sitting down across from her. "I haven't had more than five minutes between patients all day."

They exchanged a look, the shared exhaustion making them feel closer despite the space between them. It was moments like these that reminded Emma just how much she relied on Nathan's presence to ground her. Even when things were at their worst, he had a way of calming her, of making her feel like they could get through anything together.

"I miss you," she said quietly, the words slipping out before she could stop them.

Nathan's gaze softened, and he glanced around the break room, making sure they were still alone. "I miss you too," he said, his voice equally low. "I hate that we can't just—" He cut himself off, shaking his head slightly. "I wish things were different."

Emma sighed, resting her head on her hand. "Me too. I keep thinking about what Dr. Patel said, about how close we're cutting it. I don't want people to think I'm getting special treatment, or worse, that I'm only doing well because of you."

Nathan frowned, leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees. "Emma, you know that's not true. You've earned everything. Your work speaks for itself."

"I know that," she said, meeting his eyes. "But I don't want anyone else questioning it. I don't want to give them a reason to."

Nathan reached across the table, his hand brushing against hers briefly, a touch so quick and subtle it might have gone unnoticed by anyone else—but not by them. It was a small gesture, but it spoke volumes about how they were both feeling. They were both under strain, both trying to navigate the increasingly complicated waters of their relationship and their careers.

"Maybe we should slow things down," Emma suggested hesitantly. "Just for a while. Until things calm down."

Nathan's expression darkened slightly. "You mean stop seeing each other?"

"No, not that," Emma quickly corrected, her heart aching at the thought. "I just mean... we could give each other more space. Be more careful. I don't want to stop being with you, Nathan. But if we keep going like this, someone's going to find out."

Nathan was silent for a moment, his jaw clenched as he thought about her words. Emma could tell he hated the idea just as much as she did. But he was practical, always weighing the risks, always thinking ahead.

Finally, he nodded, though his reluctance was clear. "Okay. We'll pull back a little. But I don't want you to think for one second that I'm letting you go, Emma. We'll figure this out. It's just... a temporary measure."

Emma nodded, though the compromise left a bitter taste in her mouth. It wasn't what she wanted, but it was what they had to do. "I know. I'm just... scared of what happens if we don't."

Nathan stood, walking over to her and leaning down slightly. Even in the break room, even with the constant threat of someone walking in, he couldn't resist placing a soft, fleeting kiss on her forehead.

"We'll get through this," he whispered, his breath warm against her skin. "Together."

The following days were harder than Emma had anticipated. Pulling back from Nathan meant less time together, fewer moments of connection, and a constant, aching distance between them. They still saw each other at work, of course, but the personal moments they had shared—the late-night conversations, the lingering touches—were all but gone.

Emma tried to throw herself into her work, but even that became more difficult as the days wore on. She couldn't stop thinking about Nathan, couldn't stop missing the way things had been before the pressure of their secrecy had started to weigh them down.

One night, after an especially exhausting shift, Emma was walking out of the hospital when she heard someone call her name. She turned to see Dr. Patel approaching, his face unreadable.

"Dr. Carter," he said, falling into step beside her. "How are things going? You've had a lot on your plate lately."

Emma forced a smile, though she couldn't shake the nervousness that always seemed to creep in when Dr. Patel was around. "I'm managing. It's been busy, but nothing I can't handle."

Dr. Patel nodded, his eyes scanning her face as if he were looking for something more. "You're doing well, Emma. You've shown a lot of growth since you started here. But I wanted to check in with you—make sure everything's okay."

Emma felt a knot form in her stomach. His tone was kind, but there was something about the way he said it that made her feel like he was probing deeper than just her work performance.

"I'm fine," she said, hoping her voice sounded steadier than she felt. "Just focused on getting through the rotation."

Dr. Patel gave her a small, almost fatherly smile. "Good. You know, it's important to find balance, especially in a demanding field like this. I've seen too many young doctors burn out because they don't take the time to care for themselves outside of work."

Emma nodded, though the unease in her chest only grew. "I'll keep that in mind. Thanks, Dr. Patel."

He paused, as if considering whether or not to say something more, before finally nodding. "Take care of yourself, Dr. Carter."

With that, he turned and walked away, leaving Emma standing alone in the cool night air. She watched him go, her mind racing. He was onto something, she could feel it. Whether it was her subtle change in behavior or the fact that she and Nathan had been too obvious at some point, she wasn't sure. But the way he had been watching her, the concern in his voice—it was clear he suspected something.

When Emma finally got home, she collapsed onto her bed, her mind still spinning. She knew they couldn't keep going like this. The constant fear, the careful maneuvering around their colleagues—it was all becoming too much. She missed Nathan, missed the way things had been before everything had gotten so complicated.

Her phone buzzed, pulling her out of her thoughts. It was a message from Nathan.

Nathan: How are you holding up? Miss you.

Emma stared at the message for a moment before typing out a response.

Emma: Miss you too. I'm just... I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this up, Nathan. Patel's onto something, I can feel it.

There was a pause before Nathan replied.

Nathan: I know. I hate this too. But we'll figure it out. Let's talk tomorrow, okay?

Emma sighed, her fingers hovering over the keyboard.

Emma: Okay. Tomorrow.

But as she lay there, staring at the ceiling, Emma couldn't shake the feeling that things were only going to get more complicated from here.