Splatoon: The Last Human

Studying the Present: Part 3

"Welcome to Shellendorf Institute," my voice echoed across the scenic hall. White pearl columns protruded from the ground to reach the ceilings above as limestone colored the floor, covered in debris. Hayden, the unique visitor, looked around the museum, forever stuck in a trance. My niece Cora, and her close friend Austin, were looking around the interior of the building, probably trying to cause trouble. "Cora, you and Austin can look around the museum but don't touch anything; you don't want auntie Tamara to get in trouble now, do you?" Cora seemed to contemplate for some time before nodding her head and running off in a random direction, "I swear Kiawah had a demon-child," I thought before turning to the foreign guest.

Hayden was scanning a small stone carving of a Long-Nose monster with big ears and horns growing from its mouth. "So," I said as I leisurely strolled to Hayden, giving my best courtly smile. "Now that it's just the two of us, how about you tell me how you came to my lovely abode? " He looked at me with those dull blue eyes, then looked around the building. "I will, but let's walk and chat since It'll get boring standing here all day," I nodded in agreement, and we walked down the alluring hallway.

The halls were adorned with antiquated artifacts, theorized to date back before the Mollusc Era. We first walked in silence as I was plucking the number of questions I would ask, but Hayden decided to break the silence first. "So tell me," Hayden said, his voice sounding a bit austere as if he was regretting being here. "How did you come to learn English? I would have expected a lot of human cultures and history to be erased?" I gave him a toothy grin, "Is it weird for me to speak this language,"

"I would be a liar if I said no,"

"Then I'm glad you're no liar," I said, "But, to answer your question, I've been studying humans for years, so I practically know everything about your species," Hayden gave me a look of intrigue.

"Everything?"

"Everything," I pointed to one of the displays that held an ancient set of human armor; the armor looked traditional yet combative. It contained a sense of honor and majesty inside despite possessing no owner. Hayden looked at the armor with some sense of nostalgia, "You have a whole set of samurai armor, ō-yoroi, no doubt," Hayden seemed to be in some trance, remembering something as a smile crept across his face. "Yep, it became so popular that they made costumes out of it, even became more popular in Turf Wars," Hayden wanted to say something before his eyes lied up a replica model of the Great Zapfish.

Hayden had a look of bewilderment, trying to study the replica model. "What is that?"

"That is The Great Zapfish, and over there is the normal Zapfish," I replied, pointing at the Zapfish life cycle. Hayden took some time to look at the little harbingers of energy, "You don't know anything about the big Zapfish?" I shook my head, "The Great Zapfish seemed to be here for a long time as no one captured its life cycle, he was probably here before the Mollusc Era, and by telling of your expression, he was hereafter humans went extinct,"

Hayden was enthralled with these facts as he began mumbling to himself; the few I could hear were something about myths and catfish, which gave me a chuckle. "You know Hayden," I began attempting to hide my wide smile, "I think I'm growing fond of you and our conversation, and since you are a walking relic yourself, how about I be your guide, and in turn, you teach me about human history,"

Hayden gave a look of suspicion before quickly shrugging it off, "Sounds like an easy deal," Hayden replied, which gave me an idea, "Also, since we may have got some human history wrong, here in the museum, I think it will be best if we got an actual human to teach the people who come here," I said as I winked at him; he sighed as if he saw this coming.

"Fine, but I don't-"

"Inklish,"

Hayden cringed slightly at the word, "Yeah, Inklish,"

"Then," I started giving my biggest widest smile. "How about this, you teach me and any other visitors about human history and culture, while I teach you about Inkling language and culture; a win-win,"

Hayden processed this information for a few seconds before letting a brief sigh, "Guess I don't have a choice in the matter, deal," he said. With a smile still plastered on my face, I reached out my hand, waiting to shake his, "Then I welcome you to the future, Hayden,"