Longing Love || Taehyung || (English)

Chapter 14

                                            y/n pov:

I enter the hotel and get pretty nervous. I'm about to tell Amina everything. She'll definitely think he's crazy and if I tell her that I liked it, she'll think we're both crazy. I never told Amina that I'm into that kind of thing. Why should I? Nobody knows that about me, but today I'm going to tell her. She'll probably laugh at me for it, knowing her, but I'm also pretty sure she's trying to convince me not to see Taehyung anymore. I understand that, I would do the same if she told me something like that. I walk towards our room and open the door. Amina immediately welcomes me and hugs me.
"Hey, sweetie. And? How was it? Tell me everything"
She probably notices how nervous I am right now, but she should tell me how it went with Jungkook first.
"You tell first"
She immediately grins and her eyes light up.
"Okay, so when we got to his house we first watched a movie, I was allowed to choose the film. At first I thought about watching a romantic movie but I wanted him to like it too, so I decided on a horror movie, namely Conjuring. He held me in his arms during the film, that was soooo cute!! Anyway, we didn't see much of the movie because after about 30 minutes he kissed me!!"
She looks so happy. I'm really happy for her. It looks like Jungkook really isn't like Taehyung.
"Uhhh, babyyy, what happened then??"
Judging by her look I already know exactly what happened next.
"We had sex!!"
Her cheeks turn red and she turns away from me. She doesn't have to be embarrassed! Hello?? We're best friends!! She doesn't have to be embarrassed in front of me!!
"That's great! Why are you embarrassed?? I'm not just anyone!"
She looks at me again and laughs slightly.
"Yes, I know, but still!!"
Oh dear, if she's embarrassed, how will she react to what I'm about to tell her? Maybe I shouldn't tell her after all. Okay, yes, I have to tell her. I can do it.
"Was the sex good?"
She smiles provocatively.
"It was overwhelming!! If you had seen his cock, ugh!! I've never seen anything like it!"
I have to laugh. How big was it? From what she says, he had a 2 meter cock! Well, of course he probably didn't, but based on her reaction, he did.
"Okay, okay, I don't need any more details"
We both laugh and then she asks me the question I've been avoiding.
"Now it's your turn, get out now!!"
Okay, here it comes. I take a deep breath and look at her nervously.
"Okay... Where do I even start..."
She looks at me quite worried now.
"Now tell me! You're scaring me!!"
If I tell her right away what happened, she'll freak out! Well, maybe she'll laugh too...? Please laugh!!
"It didn't go as planned... Before you say anything, listen to me to the end, okay?"
She nods uncertainly and I start to tell her everything. I tell her everything from him locking me up to the sex and the whipping. Her eyes open wider the more I tell her.
"FUCK, WHAT?!"
I look at the floor and am deeply ashamed.
"Is your back okay?? Show it to me!!"
I slowly look up at her again. God, I could sink into the ground!
"He took care of me afterwards... He put bandages on me so you can't see it."
She looks at me completely confused.
"Wait, so first he fucking whipped you and then he took care of you after sex?! I don't understand anything anymore! What's wrong with this guy?! I should never have let you go out with him alone, you had a bad feeling about him from the start and I talked you into going on that double date. I'm so sorry, it's all my fault!"
It's not her fault at all! She couldn't have known that, she can't blame herself for it under any circumstances.
"Stop, stop, it's not your fault Amina. And I have to tell you something else..."
Her eyes widen and she looks deep into my eyes. Did she even blink once?
"Anything else?! Shit, what?!"
Oh God... If I tell her now she'll think I'm completely crazy... Okay, pull yourself together y/n. Just tell her straight out.
"It... I liked it..."
She looks at me in complete shock. Shit, what is she going to say now??
"Are you kidding me?! YOU LIKED IT?!"
God, this is so fucking embarrassing! Can someone please shoot me or something??
I look down at the floor again and answer her in a quiet voice.
"Yes.."
suddenly she shakes me.
"Are you crazy, y/n??!! Why the fuck did you like that?! He hurt you!!! He's a psychopath!! You're bleeding because of him!! How could you have liked that?!"
I don't know what to say. This situation is so embarrassing! Why did I like it?! I don't know myself!! I'm just as disturbed as he is!!
"Shit, I don't know, okay! I never told you this, but I've always been into that kind of thing... I've often watched porn in which women are whipped and beaten during sex and... It turned me on..."
She looks at me as if I had just told her I could fly. Shit, can't she just laugh or something? That would at least make the situation a little less awkward.
"So you like it when you're whipped and beaten during sex? You always surprise me y/n! And why am I only finding out about this now?!"
Maybe because I wanted to avoid exactly that reaction? You don't tell someone something like that every day!
"I was embarrassed... I didn't want you to think I was weird..."
She looks at me very worried. Can't she at least smile a little? Just a little? PLEASE!
"You know you can tell me anything, y/n. Sure, I find it a little weird, but you're my best friend, we always tell each other everything!"
She's right, I should have told her, but it was just too uncomfortable for me.
"You're right, I'm sorry..."
She sighs and takes my hand.
"Please, y/n, no matter how much you liked that, you have to promise me never to meet him again! Who knows what else he'll do? He could hurt you even more next time! You should be happy that he let you go at all! Imagine if he had locked you up forever!"
She's right.. I really shouldn't see him anymore.. but what if I can't? In my head there is only him. My body is screaming for him, for his touches.., for his punches.. Fuck! What is wrong with me?! Why can't I be normal?! I have to stay away from him! I just have to!
"Yes, I promise"
I hope I keep my promise.. I just have to avoid him. But he has my number now, what if he text me? Do I text him back? Or should I just block him? Shit, I don't know! I don't actually want to block him.. but I have to.. right?
Amina looks at me closely, I don't think she really believes me. I probably wouldn't believe myself either.
"I'm serious, y/n! Stay away from him!"
I do!! Shit, it's not as easy as she thinks! This guy attracts me like a magnet! Just because he's so fucking good looking!
But I really have to try.
"I'm serious too! I'll try, okay?"
She sighs heavily, still holding my hand.
"Good, I hope you're serious. But what do I do with Jungkook now? What if he's the same?"
I don't think he is. As I said, I'm good at judging people and Jungkook seems good to me. I had a bad feeling about Taehyung from the start and I wasn't wrong. But Jungkook definitely doesn't seem like Taehyung to me.
"I don't think Jungkook is like that, he didn't do anything today, did he? Taehyung also told me that Jungkook isn't like him. Sure, he could be lying but I think he told the truth. Besides, you would have noticed today if he were like that too."
She looks at me a little uncertainly but then nods.
"Good, you're right. Just because they're best friends doesn't mean he's the same as Taehyung."
Exactly. I want Amina to be happy. I hope Jungkook makes her happy.
"And what's going to happen between you now?"
Now she's smiling again. Thank God, I couldn't stand this mood any longer!
"I think it could really be something serious. We would have a long-distance relationship but I think he thinks that's okay."
I'm really happy for her. As I said, I couldn't have a long-distance relationship but if she can, then I'm really happy for her.
I smile at her.
"I'm really happy for you, Amina, you deserve to be happy."
She smiles at me too, but suddenly she looks worried again.
"Thanks, but is everything really okay with you?"
To be honest, I don't know myself. Somehow I regret everything but somehow I don't, but I don't want to worry her.
"Yes, I'm okay. My back hurts a bit but otherwise everything's fine."
She nods slightly at me and looks relieved.
"Good, if there's anything then tell me, okay?"
I nod at her with a smile.
"Yes, I will, don't worry."
She nods and lets go of my hand. She takes her cell phone out of her pocket and looks at the clock.
"It's already 1 a.m., we should go to sleep, we have to be at breakfast again at 8:30."
I nod and start changing. I'm still wearing Taehyung's clothes. They still smell of him. God, he smells so good!! Why does he have to smell so good??
"Why are you wearing his clothes anyway? What about your clothes?"
Oh right, I haven't even told her that yet. I don't think anything can shock her now anyway.
"Taehyung cut them to pieces."
She raises her eyebrows and looks at me.
"I'm just not going to say anything about that now."
She notices that I don't want to talk about it anymore. Luckily.
I put on my pajamas and lie down on the bed next to her and she turns off the light on the dresser. I make myself comfortable and pull the blanket over me and set an alarm for 8 a.m.
"Good night, Amina"
"Good night, you disturbed one"