Ponyboy was indeed awake, he seemed glad to see us. He could see the red puffiness in Darry and Sodapop's eyes from their crying. Ponyboy tried to sit up but Darry stopped him from doing so, the press wouldn't stop asking about Ponyboy and his condition. The hospital had to kick all reporters out of the hospital, the newspaper was talking about how we were heroes. But I can't help but wonder am I a hero? I mean I killed that soc that can't be considered a hero. Ponyboy could talk but he didn't sound like the happy boy he once was, I felt like this was all my fault. If I hadn't killed that soc what would've happened? Would Ponyboy have drowned that day? Ponyboy would look at me and try to speak but it was clear he had no energy to. I talked to Ponyboy telling him about everything that has been going on, how the press sees us as heroes, and that we're famous. I left out the part where I'm getting charged for manslaughter. That same day I was walking home and it was night, dark outside. I didn't want to go home, I didn't want to face my parents or anyone. Guilt really can eat someone up...
The next day at court many testified I was defending myself because Cherry told people to. I felt grateful for her support but at the end of the day, she couldn't face me because she knew I was the same one who murdered her boyfriend. They asked me so many questions that I just felt like bursting into flames at that moment, but the court went well I could say. After leaving court I couldn't help but wonder how many days until this is over. The days when I'll hear that I'm guilty of killing that soc. My mind kept wandering, but my mind also kept wandering back to Ponyboy. I wish I never dragged him along with my problems. Shouldn't I face the problems of my world alone and not drag in my best friend? The only person who I could consider my "best" friend.
