Saorsa

Thirty-One - Zeke

He hadn't realized that the gun went off. Well, he did, but he nearly convinced himself it was in his head. Zeke couldn't hear a single thing but feel Kory's chest heave against his, feeling his arms pull him a bit closer. He didn't want to know what happened. No part in his body hurt even the slightest, except for the constant ringing in his ears that gave him a headache after a minute or two. He wasn't counting the seconds.

Zeke concluded that he wasn't injured. Someone else was. He slowly turned his head, his blood going cold when he saw Aaliyah on the floor, the gun still in her hand, a lifeless grip on it. He stared at the wound going through her head, his breath hitching. He didn't mean for this to happen. He didn't want anyone to get hurt. This couldn't be real. It felt unreal to him. There wasn't a world where he would imagine Aaliyah dead because of her own choices. She thought it through. She didn't hesitate to pull the trigger. She actually did it. He hadn't realized that Kory was crying until he felt tears drop onto the fabric of his shirt. He turned his attention to Kory, who was wiping the tears that kept overflowing his eyes, his lips quivered as he looked up at someone else.

Zeke felt like he was in a dream. He didn't know what was going on at this point, it felt as if someone else was controlling his movements, and he was in his brain, helplessly watching. He followed Kory's fearful stare, seeing Raymond try and comfort Kory, rubbing his shoulder as he says soothing words to him. Zeke couldn't hear it, anyway. He barely knew what was going on. Aaliyah was dead. There wasn't a way for her to come back.

She was gone. Forever.

He had a mix of emotions rise up in his throat. It might have been vomit. He swallowed it back down, the bitter taste making him grimace. Zeke felt slightly relieved and guilty at the same time. This was his fault. Nothing could fix his mistake.

The ringing in his ears eventually stopped, the sobs from Kory and the rushed comfort from Raymond the only thing he was able to hear now. The longer he looked around, the more often his attention was grabbed by Aaliyah's limp body in front of him. He examined her features, seeing the dry tear streaks that stained her cheeks, her lifeless, glassy eyes staring into the void, and how flies were already eating at the open gunshot wound on her temple. It was a clean shot. He didn't mean to.

This wasn't supposed to happen. None of this should have happened. If he had said the truth, none of this would have happened. If he hadn't called out for help from underneath the cafeteria table, none of this would have happened. Nobody would have been injured. All his friends would be alive.

He rested his head against Kory's chest, his thoughts foggy. He couldn't think straight.

Zeke felt Raymond's fingertips barely touch his shoulder, making him recoil away from his touch. "Hey, kid, it's okay. It's just me." Raymond reassures, rubbing Zeke's shoulder. "You okay?"

Zeke stared at Raymond, not blinking for the entirety of keeping the little focus he had on him. He nods, blankly looking back at Aaliyah. Kory's sobs became quiet, now just little hiccups and futile attempts in suppressing his noises. Raymond turned Zeke's head to make him face him again. "Just look at me, alright? Don't worry."

Zeke's eyes overflowed with tears, yet they stayed in a state of stagnation. He observed Raymond's features next. His pale blue eyes, his dirty-blond hair that had ever so slightly visible waves if someone looked closely. His haircut looked overgrown, due for a haircut. He had stubble growing around the edges of his face. Zeke later realized that his sky-blue, flower-patterned button-up shirt had dirt and blood stains from the long and tiring adventure he had with the group. He assumed the blood was from before he had met him. The knees of his dark blue denim jeans were dirty, darker from the dirt that had stuck there for God knows how long. His combat boots were stained with old blood, from what Zeke had assumed was from before he met him as well. His knuckles were bruised, but they seemed quite old, along with dry blood staining his skin from the self-neglect of not taking a bath. Speaking of which, when was the last time any of them have taken a hot bath? The stench soon reached Zeke's nostrils, making him inch back.

"What? I stink?" Raymond scoffed. "So do you. We can find somewhere to take a shower, if we ever get out of these damn woods."

Zeke nods, the fatigue soon setting into his bones. He suddenly felt sluggish, out of breath. He blinked a couple of times, attempting to swat the need to sleep away. He had already slept, didn't he? He couldn't remember at this point. He kept his stare on Raymond.

***

He wasn't sure how long it had been. He must have been staring at the corpse for an hour. He read somewhere that staring at something for too long can mess up your mind. Zeke couldn't bring himself to move from the spot where he saw Aaliyah's body lie. Something in him hoped that she would wake up and have the spark in her eyes come back. Too many things were occupying his mind, the smell of a dead body reaching his nostrils. He grimaced at the scent, covering his nose with his hand.

Kory had calmed down, and was sleeping in Raymond's arms. Ophelia and Konrad soon figured out what happened, and were attempting to talk to Zeke. He didn't want to talk. He didn't want to look at them. He didn't want to move at all. If he stayed in this specific spot and stared long enough, something would happen. Something good would come out of his constant staring. He just knew it. He heard Aaliyah's voice in the back of his head, coaxing him to keep staring for as long as he could. He was pulled out of his 'trance' when Ophelia gently nudged his shoulder. He flinched at the physical contact, his attention turning to her. His eyes traced her features. Her skin was a bit darker than his, her short, kinky hair was tucked behind her ears. Some dirt stains were on her jawline, but he took little notice to it. She still wore the blue zip-up hoodie, dark gray sweatpants, and dirty white shoes from when he met her. There weren't any other clothes she wore, not like she was able to find any. They were out in the woods for days. Nobody had the chance to conveniently find fresh clothes in the middle of a forest.

He remembered very little of what everyone looked like the first time he met them. That didn't matter now, did it? Zeke watched Ophelia pull her hand away from his shoulder. "Calm down. It's just me." She soothes. His shoulders slumped in relaxation. He felt her fingertips brush against the fabric of his shirt before she backed away to approach Konrad, who was talking to Raymond in a hushed tone. Zeke stared at her walk up to him, his stare lingering before he turned his attention back to Aaliyah's dead body in front of him. The smell of a dead body was unbearable, but he couldn't stop staring. He had convinced himself that something good will come out of his uncomfortable, never-ending staring.

Ophelia's voice was barely audible from how quiet she was speaking. Zeke heard some words though.

"...He might be refusing...Something's wrong..."

Her words made his jaw tighten ever so slightly. At this point, he already knew what she was talking about. He wasn't refusing. He knew she would come back. Kory came back, so why wouldn't she? It didn't make sense. She would come back. He just knew it. She had to come back.

He didn't know what he would do without her. Though, were they on the best terms recently? It was like talking to a 'ghost.'

They wouldn't respond, regardless.