FACADE

32| Weak

JACEN JR.

Her breathing and my thoughts are the only things audible right now. Even after taking the edibles my mind still won't fall quiet.

She mumbles something and my free hand moves from below her breasts to her waist- pulling her in.

Girl almost fight me fi stay ina the room wid her tonight. I like it though... mi like say she a get territorial even if she nuh realize a that a gwaan.

*You're becoming more and more like him*

There goes my mind again.

"Why you nah sleep..." Paecyn mumbles clearly this time.

I sigh.

"Yuh uncomfortable with me here?" she props herself up on one arm.

I shake my head before pulling her over and onto me. The need to know on her face causes me to smile.

Paecyn Gray, people pleaser.

"Mhm?" she extends her question, "me tell yuh fi mek me go home," her voice beyond groggy while she rubs her eyes with one hand and presses on my bare chest with the next.

"Cyn-"

"Paecyn," she corrects me.

"Paecyn," I pull her hand from her eyes and her body down to me, "me good. Go back go sleep."

A second or two worth of gibberish comes from her mouth before she yawns and finds my neck.

Another minute goes by before she speaks again, this time asking exactly what I want to hear.

"If... iffffff Jacen if... I were to hypothetically say yes to the girlfriend thing..." she trails off before taking a deep breath- her hands now in my hair while I can feel her lashes moving as she blinks against my skin. "How yuh ago mek me less anxious about everything?"

I take a moment to analyze her words.

*Cyaa 'make' her do nuttin*

"Cyaa promise you less anxiety, and me definitely can't promise you 100% safety-"

"Wah?" she spins her head from my chest to look at me.

"Listen," my tone calming, "I can't and me nahgo promise you that but I can promise you transparency to a certain extent."

She eases off my torso completely, to sit up straight in her saddle.

"To an extent? Me need fi know every thing so I know how to operate. Everybody around you already does and mi-"

"Pae," I cut her babbling as short as possible before she start spiral.

"The ting nuh as serious as you think, promise."

*Stop the lies bredda*

"Okay omit the promise part. It's not as crazy as you might think. When I was younger yes but since Dadz drop back in, not so much. Him no make nuttin slip through any cracks," I give her as much assurance as I can.

"How much madam Melli know? If we become a thing me nuh want her 'round you so how you ago deal wid that?"

I pause...

She notices the quick hesitation and hisses before trying to lift herself from me.

I yank her down and back to me before flipping us, "If you take the title, ah your world Pae."

She rolls her eyes, unable to move much since I have her hands pinned above her head.

"Mi nuh know. Honestly feel mi nuh know you that much anymore, mi can't pinpoint when yah lie again," her eyes find my lips like they always we do.